A cow averages 40,000 jaw movements a day. Ahhh, the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal revisited
A cow releases about 125 gallons of gas per day.Ever heard of Michael Moore?
A group of crows is called a murder. Then why do they call that show, 'The View'?
In 1972, a gorilla by the name of "Koko" was taught ASL (American Sign Language) for the deaf. By the year 2000, the gorilla could understand approximately 2,000 English words.And yet, it was Jesse Jackson who received a college diploma
The largest pig on record was a Poland-China hog named Big Bill, who weighed 2,552 lbs. See above, to first comment
There are more pigs than humans in Denmark. How can you tell?
A rabbit is not able to vomit. Make'em watch a Woody Allen movie
It can take up to a month for a rattlesnake to re-supply its venom. Obviously not a Democrat
The King Cobra has enough venom in its bite that it can kill up to 13 adults. The reptile or the beer?
On average it takes a shark seven days to replace a tooth. This is why you'll never see a shark in Arkansas
Sharks are so powerful that their bite can generate a force of up to 6 tons per square inch. Try hand feeding a twinkie to Rosie O'Donnell
Sharks can sense a drop of blood from a mile away. Never met a lawyer, have ya?
Sharks have upper and lower eyelids, but they do not blink. Kinda like a crackwhore
When baby sharks are born, they swim away from their mothers right away and are on there own. In fact, their mothers might see them as prey. This is also why we don't allow fags to adopt
The giant squid is the largest animal without a backbone. That's not true. They forgot about Ariel Sharon
The fastest running bird is the Ostrich, which has been clocked at 97.5 kilometres per hour. Apparantly, they've never seen a New Yorker make a lane change on I-275
In order to mate, a male deep sea anglerfish will bite a female when he finds her. The male will never let go and will eventually merge his body into the female and spend the rest of his life inside the female mate. The males internal organs will disappear apart from the testes that are needed to for breeding. In other words...marriage
Ninety-five percent of tropical fish sold in North America originate from Florida. Kinda like immigrant slave labor
The clown fish has the ability to change its sex. If a breeding female dies, the male fish will change its sex and mate with another male. Michael Jackson, anyone?
In one night, an adult hippopotamus eats approximately 150 pounds of grass. Damned hippies!
Polar bears can eat as much as ten percent of their body weight in less than one hour. Ever seen Rosie at a Shoney's buffet?
The male howler monkey of Central and South America is the noisiest land animal, which can be heard clearly from a distance of ten miles away. Whoever wrote this has never been to an Al Sharpton speech
The sea cucumber spills its internal organs out as a defense mechanism. I've heard of folks "spilling their guts" in court, but this is too much
Armadillos breed in July, but get pregnant in November after delaying implantation. This allows the young to be born during the spring when there is an abundance of food. Kinda like teenagers
Armadillos can be housebroken. Not at all like teenagers
In order to scare away predators, Giant petrels, a type of seabird, throw up all over the intruder. I've known people who do that too
The bright skin that hangs from a turkey's neck is called a "wattle." Helen Thomas has one of those too