MoeBetta Advice For Driving On American Roadways
2) When you see a funeral procession approaching,you should always pull over,get out of your vehicle,take off your hat,and show respect until the procession passes.Failure to do so will announce to the world that you are an uncivilized piece of trash,and are not worthy of being an American.
3) Elderly Asian drivers love their turn signals so much,they never turn them off.
4) Middle-aged black women in Lincoln Town Cars do not appreciate hearing the "N" word,no matter how politely you say it.
5) Middle-aged black women in Cadillac El Dorados are most likely to call you the "N" word,no matter what color you are.
6) Anyone you see in a non-American vehicle,is most likely a hippie or a communist/terrorist.Should you see such a thing,immediately pretend that you're Roscoe P. Coltrane in 'hot pursuit',and begin crashing into the vehicle until it is destroyed,or until the real police arrive,whichever comes first. Ghuh ghuh ghuh,I love it,I love it.
7) Old men (of any race or creed) driving a pickup truck,will extremely abuse their driving privileges,always.(See #1 above)
8) If you ever witness someone driving a Yugo,Le Car,Gremlin or Pinto,you are obligated by law to tease and harass them until they cry or leave.
9) If you are driving down south,and see a vehicle that does not have bondo,primer and/or duct tape somewhere on it,then it is not a real southerner.Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
10) If you see any vehicle with a Confederate flag anywhere on it,do not piss off the driver.They do not fear fighting,killing,or prison.
11) If driving up north,you must use your middle fingers to make lane changes and turns.It is the law.