An Ode To Waffle House
Oh Waffle House,dear Waffle House,Oh how I love thee,
You once gave me heartburn,and a clogged artery,
No grudge do I hold,for all is now well,
If I can't have my hashbrowns,then send me to Hell!
Ahh,Waffle House! One of the finest eatin' joints you'll ever find.I have been a loyal customer of this fine establishment for about 25 years now.I was about 6 years old or so when I first tasted their deeeeeelicious hashbrowns,and have been hooked ever since.And anyone who don't know what Waffle House is and don't care,then you're likely a damned foreigner,heathen,or muslim terrorist and you need to haul your slack ass on off my blog.Go on..GIT! SHOO! GIT ON OUTTA HEAH!
For those who do know and care what Waffle House is,I welcome you.
The great Waffle House,began 50 years ago in 1955,with humble beginnings (as all good American businesses do).A couple of young men named Joe Rogers and Tom Forkner,had an idea to try and start a little food business,that might be profitable and make the local folks happy.As it slowly began to grow,they (like all good capitalists),decided to expand a little.The more they expanded,the more business they got.And that ain't possible,unless you have a product worth buying,and Mr. Rogers and Mr.Forkner surely did!
As they learned they had a great idea,they had a vision of the future,and one that exists to this day:
They started the Waffle House experience of restaurants where friends would gather for quality food and quality conversation but not burn a hole in their wallets. They delivered personalized, friendly service by asking their employees to follow some simple rules that are still followed today like “To win friends, be one,” “A smile makes the food taste better,” and “Who’s looking out for the Poor Old Cash Customer?”
And this stands true to this day,in every Waffle House.I have heard of a few bad experiences in Kansas City,and Springfield Missouri,but these are rare and far between.Every Waffle House I've been in,from Charleston,SC to Jacksonville,FLA,from Memphis,TN, to Tulsa,OK,it's been outstanding service.You must expect,on a rare occasion,that a commie/hippie/pinko/vile heathen will be hired,and spend a few days in employment.That's no reason to think ill of Waffle House.These things happen.
And when you do get the opportunity and chance to eat in a Waffle House,I urge you to do so.You will be treated much better than one of those $200 a plate French restaurants.The waiters and chefs in fancy shmancy joints,will call you "sir" and "ma'am",and charge you hundreds of dollars,and not even offer a refill on anything.But in Waffle House,they call you "buddy" and "pal",and "sugar" and "sweetie",and they give ya all the free refills of coffee and tea you want.These are the good,decent,honest folks that made America great.
Tip your waitress and cook,when you visit.The waitresses work on commission,and are good all-American gals.Don't be stingy.You leave them a decent tip,so they can keep on keeping on in life.Same for cooks.They work on salary,but they do deserve to be acknowledged for fixin' you the best chicken sammich and hashbrowns you ever tasted.Don't be a cheapskate or a prick at the Waffle House.You are in the company of true Americans,so behave accordingly.
G-d Bless the Waffle House!