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Location: Columbia, South Carolina, United States
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"Moe wouldn't trade me his chicken sammich for a nice, cool puppy smoothie. Indeed!"

- Glenn Reynolds

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005

MoeBetta Headlines 05/11/05

Iraqi Insurgents Go on Rampage, Kill 69

Missionary, spooning and doggy style still permitted


Ireland Divided Over Hill of Tara Plan

Rhett Butler says he doesn't give a damn


Bush never in danger despite Georgia grenade

Officials say "grenade" was merely a bag of boiled peanuts; Jimmy Carter denies involvement


Paris tries alleged aides to shoebomber Reid

Hotel billionairess has tried everything else


Streaking Yankees Rally to Top Mariners

Steinbrenner humiliated as team breaks public nudity and "don't ask don't tell" rules simultaneously


Good news on severed goat heads: Satan not involved

Goats wonder "good news for who?"


Schwarzenegger not mad at moon

Unfortunately, Frank J still is


Woman sickens eight with poisoned pizza

I'd comment on this, but my friends' wives hate me so much as it is


Sex researchers shed light on unpopular sex acts

This is why I like the lights off, you perverts!


Man in Skirt Accused of Exposing Himself

Rosie O'Donnell decries: "Hah! Got ya Repubs! I don't wear skirts!"


Woman Gives Fugitive Ride Around Town

Title of new Hillary Clinton biography hotly debated


School Suspends Boy for Wearing Prom Dress

Teaching homosexuality, banning prayer, burning the American flag, re-writing history, and educating teenagers on how to make methamphetamines are still acceptable


Monkeys Escape From La. Primate Center

Jesse Jackson declares "this is the white cracker's racist code words for jail break"


Jesus Christ in Legal Battle in W.Va.

Just when ya thought the liberals couldn't stoop any lower...


Inmates Told to Pay $50 to Visit Children

Michael Jackson not eligible for offer


British Navy Punishes Group for Nude Swim

Says sailors violated the "don't bask don't swell" policy


Hope ya like'em, and don't forget to visit moehawk, Dane and Basil for more funnies!

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