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"Moe wouldn't trade me his chicken sammich for a nice, cool puppy smoothie. Indeed!"

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Thursday, May 19, 2005

MoeBetta Headlines 05/19/05

Jackson's cousin says saw accuser masturbating

Jackson insists he was only petting his monkey


Gender Test for Porcupines Less Prickly

Scientists say one prick is a boy, no prick is a girl



Pit Bull Kills Toddler in West Virginia

Robert Byrd claims infant was "uppity"


Nebraska Principal Eats Fried Worms

New liberal school board makes drastic changes to public school lunches


Japanese in Hot Pursuit of Roaming Monkey

Latest 'King Kong vs Godzilla' movie kinda lacks the thrill of the original


Calif. Nun May Face Hit-And-Run Charges

Police say she has a ruler and isn't afraid to use it


Vienna U. to Produce 'Toilet With Brains'

Have yet to produce graduates with brains


Woman Charged With Cutting Husband's Penis

Reform attempt to permit females to be Mohels not quite working out


Camel Sits on W.Va. Woman Painting a Fence

Cheap attempt to remake Mark Twain classic not well recieved


Lake disappears, baffling villagers

Michael Moore previously warned not to attempt a 'cannonball'


Image-conscious leader fights the flab

Kelli Carpenter tries to make Rosie O'Donnell understand "no means no"


Wendy's finger given by man to settle debt

Fannie Mae's new practice of accepting new forms of repayment comes under scrutiny


Caste spat over school puddings

Caste too cheap to buy whipped cream


Viagra-fueled Italian stallions seized by police

Balboa says "Yo Adriaaan! I did it all fo' youse!


Congress Poised For Doping Bill

Clinton insists he won't inhale


Enjoy! And be sure to check out moehawk, Dane Bramage and Basil for more headlines.

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