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"Moe wouldn't trade me his chicken sammich for a nice, cool puppy smoothie. Indeed!"

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Monday, June 13, 2005

MoeBetta Headlines 06/13/05

Gaelic Language Gets Official EU Status

A dying language adopted by a dying continent


Marauding Animal Kills 9 in Rural Malawi

Competition in TTLB Ecosystem heating up


Cheney slams Howard Dean as 'over the top'

Sylvester Stallone says " ay yo,Dick, lemme show ya's how it's done"


Paris Hilton Plans to Give Up Public Life

Says she'll just be a dirty, filthy slut in the privacy of her home


James Dean Is In The Building

And Elvis works at the Waffle House


Alicia Silverstone marries in Lake Tahoe

Blond beauty forgot to board the boat


No raised eyebrows

Mr. Spock miffed


Cruise says Holmes 'digs' Scientology

Says she also enjoys digging grave for her career


Mr. Bill Pulls Out of Wetlands Campaign

Title of newest claymation porn film unveiled to less than enthusiastic response


Poll: Six in 10 Want Troops to Leave Iraq

7 of 9 says that's illogical and irrational


The Show-Biz Pharaoh of Egypt's Antiquities

Omar Sharif still going strong


144 Arrested At Huge Cockfight

Queer orgy gets a bit out of hand


NTSB to study what led to Missouri plane crash

Last recorded words by Redneck pilot were, "Hey y'all, watch this!"


Porn Star to Attend President's Dinner

A tipsy Dick Cheney says, "You've seen our Bush, now show us yers!"


Bolton Nomination May Get Senate Vote Soon

Bolton comments; "I wish these lazy good for nothing, bug eyed foreigner loving rats would hurry up! You lousy,worthless, waste-of-space-and-don't-deserve-to-breathe-free-air pantywaist sons of...."


Hope ya like'em! And before ya go wrassle the Sandman, be sure to ease on next door and check out the wholesome headlines at Basil's, moehawk's, Dane's and The Capitalist's!

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