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"Moe wouldn't trade me his chicken sammich for a nice, cool puppy smoothie. Indeed!"

- Glenn Reynolds

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Tuesday, June 14, 2005

MoeBetta Headlines 06/14/05

'Titanic' director juggles projects

Will next attempt to juggle a trailer park

Alanis albums pulled in Canada over Starbucks deal

Isn't it ironic?

Missing Woman Was Hiding in Plain Sight

Calista Flockhart was merely standing behind a parking meter

Sign Near Fatal Wreck Pointed Wrong Way

Lame excuse likely not to replace the classic, "A deer ran out in front of me"

Court Denounces Race Bias in Capital Cases

Robert Byrd denies existence of racial bias, stating; "It's a dark day today, when people are accused of discriminating folks and monkeying around. They try and blacken my good name with accusations I ain't heard in a 'coon's age."

D.C. Panda Pregnancy Rumors

Bill Clinton takes an unexpected leave of absense

Army deserter back in U.S. 40 years later

Would have been back sooner, had he bothered to stop and ask for directions

Reputed Klansman set to stand trial in 1964 civil-rights slayings

Hopes to get jury comprised of members from OJ and Jacko trials

Pirates in Malaysian Waters Surrender

William Teach unavailable for comment

Bono Doubles As Lobbyist for World's Poor

Famous singer says; "Put your hungry hand in mine, I'll give you cash and wipe your heathen behind...babe, I got you babe.."...Oops, wrong 'Bono'

Don't forget to check out Basil, moehawk, Dane and The Capitalist for more headlines!

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