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"Moe wouldn't trade me his chicken sammich for a nice, cool puppy smoothie. Indeed!"

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Thursday, June 16, 2005

MoeBetta Headlines 06/16/05

Workers keep right to flirt

Amoral secularists give new meaning to 'Quickie Mart'

I'm off on vacation for 3-5 years...

Labor unions finally achieve ultimate level of laziness ...European

Author of book on Chicago fire jailed for arson

Talk about bringing a story to life

Sanitation problems plague mountaineers

SarahK still trying to adjust to life in Florida

Rosemary extract could make cooked meat safer

Her baby's still a threat, though

Jackson acquittal seen buying time on catalog sale

Evil freak-of-nature to be found soon, at a 'Baby Gap' near you

Got cows? Philippines needs 12,000

N.O.W. refuses to release their membership roster

Cuban Picasso has tough act to follow

Can't afford near as many drugs or whores as his ancestor

Cheerleaders Disciplined for Feces Pizza

And you guys thought your wives were bad cooks?

Oregon Cat Born With Two Faces

Just what we need; another pussy politician

Boy, 13, Leads Police on 20-Mile Chase

Boy is grateful it was only police chasing him, and not Michael Jackson

Mass. Man With Troubling Tattoo Arrested

I think I saw an episode of 'X-Files' like this

Cops: Boy Steals School Bus, Takes It Home

Boy responds: "This is public property,and my mom's a taxpayer! She also pays your salary, pig!" Later statements from the boy will be available in 3-7 years

Elton John Extends Las Vegas Show

Hopes to be to Siegfried, what the tiger was to Roy

Hope ya like'em! And always remember to swing by and check out Basil, moehawk, Dane and The Capitalist for more headline wholesomeness!

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