Moe's Woes

MoeBetta Midget Abuse

2006-01-30T23:45:00.000-05:00

Ya know, I've caught a lot of crap from folks about my "mean" and "harsh" attitude towards midgets, but how come no one bothers to criticize and condemn the animal kingdom when they tease and humiliate those funky little critters?

Incidentally, this video is also a good reason why I oppose Rosie O'Donnell ever being allowed to adopt a child.

Timbuktu

2006-01-11T18:17:00.000-05:00

While I was sittin' here surfin' around trying to get some ideas for a post, I got to rememberin' a joke I heard a long time ago. Like all jokes, this one has several versions. I first heard it from a longhaul driver, so this one is much "cleaner". Enjoy. ;)

At the finals of the National Poetry Competition the two finalist were an unlikely pair. Finalist number one was a Harvard educated professor of literature and the winner of several previous competitions. Finalist number two was a young Marine Lcpl. from the hills of West Virginia who needed help filling out the entry form.

The final round consisted of each competitor being given the same word and having thirty seconds to complete a verse, using the word.

The Professor went first. The Judge said, " The final word this year is ’Timbuktu’" The Prof. started thinking. Ten seconds went by. Twenty seconds. The crowd became nervous. After twenty eight seconds the Prof. began,

"Across the hot Sahara sand,

Trekked the dusty caravan.

Men on camels, two by two,

Destination- Timbuktu."

The crowd went wild, there was no way that the Hillbilly Marine would ever top that.

The Lcpl. was brought on stage. The judge gave the word, "Timbuktu."

The young Lcpl. looked to the sky, he thought for 10-15 seconds, stepped up to the microphone, cleared his throat, and began,

"Tim ’en me, a-huntin went,

Met three girls in a pop-up-tent,

They was three and we was two,

So, I bucked one and Tim Buck Two!"

MoeBetta Headlines- 01/11/06

2005-12-12T06:27:00.000-05:00

Lesbian bikers get 'Dykes on Bikes' trademark

Treadmarks not enough for bossy butches

Horses cannot wear diapers, court says

Rosie O'Donnell free to roam 'au naturale'

Ecuadorean woman, 116, is world's oldest person

Helen Thomas is from Ecuador?

Students Get Pig's-Eye View of History

Hillary to discuss pre-Bill years

NYC School Shows How to Bait, Trap Rats

1 part defaced American flag, 2 parts patchouli

Rambunctious Pig Nearly Escapes From Truck

Additional Secret Service Agents assigned to Bill Clinton after newest Little Rock Hooter's restaurant opens

Diane Keaton brings luster to 'Family Stone'

Quite preferable to watching Elton John spit polish the "family jewels"

'Got pecker? We do'

And with those disturbing words, Elton John and David Furnish were pronounced husband and he-bitch

George Takei, ‘Mr. Sulu,’ says he’s gay

I think we all suspected it while watching this scene

Spears Most-Searched for Item on the Web

And in a close second and third place; "trailer park" and "chitlins"

Japanese team inspects U.S. meatpacker

I doubt Ashlee Simpson will mind

This is probably my shortest headlines, and took me the longest to write. I told y'all I'd be back sometime around Thanksgiving, and I really tried to be, but stuff came up. These headlines are from old news, but...hope ya laugh before ya berate me. :)

Also, this is the first and only time I'm not adding links to my blogbrothers and fellow headliners, because I'm a little bewildered and rusty at the moment. I am "back", just gimme a day or two to get my brain in gear again. ;)

MoeBetta Animal Facts

2005-10-19T23:14:00.000-04:00

A cow averages 40,000 jaw movements a day.

Ahhh, the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal revisited

A cow releases about 125 gallons of gas per day.

Ever heard of Michael Moore?

A group of crows is called a murder.

Then why do they call that show, 'The View'?

In 1972, a gorilla by the name of "Koko" was taught ASL (American Sign Language) for the deaf. By the year 2000, the gorilla could understand approximately 2,000 English words.

And yet, it was Jesse Jackson who received a college diploma

The largest pig on record was a Poland-China hog named Big Bill, who weighed 2,552 lbs.

See above, to first comment

There are more pigs than humans in Denmark.

How can you tell?

A rabbit is not able to vomit.

Make'em watch a Woody Allen movie

It can take up to a month for a rattlesnake to re-supply its venom.

Obviously not a Democrat

The King Cobra has enough venom in its bite that it can kill up to 13 adults.

The reptile or the beer?

On average it takes a shark seven days to replace a tooth.

This is why you'll never see a shark in Arkansas

Sharks are so powerful that their bite can generate a force of up to 6 tons per square inch.

Try hand feeding a twinkie to Rosie O'Donnell

Sharks can sense a drop of blood from a mile away.

Never met a lawyer, have ya?

Sharks have upper and lower eyelids, but they do not blink.

Kinda like a crackwhore

When baby sharks are born, they swim away from their mothers right away and are on there own. In fact, their mothers might see them as prey.

This is also why we don't allow fags to adopt

The giant squid is the largest animal without a backbone.

That's not true. They forgot about Ariel Sharon

The fastest running bird is the Ostrich, which has been clocked at 97.5 kilometres per hour.

Apparantly, they've never seen a New Yorker make a lane change on I-275

In order to mate, a male deep sea anglerfish will bite a female when he finds her. The male will never let go and will eventually merge his body into the female and spend the rest of his life inside the female mate. The males internal organs will disappear apart from the testes that are needed to for breeding.

In other words...marriage

Ninety-five percent of tropical fish sold in North America originate from Florida.

Kinda like immigrant slave labor

The clown fish has the ability to change its sex. If a breeding female dies, the male fish will change its sex and mate with another male.

Michael Jackson, anyone?

In one night, an adult hippopotamus eats approximately 150 pounds of grass.

Damned hippies!

Polar bears can eat as much as ten percent of their body weight in less than one hour.

Ever seen Rosie at a Shoney's buffet?

The male howler monkey of Central and South America is the noisiest land animal, which can be heard clearly from a distance of ten miles away.

Whoever wrote this has never been to an Al Sharpton speech

The sea cucumber spills its internal organs out as a defense mechanism.

I've heard of folks "spilling their guts" in court, but this is too much

Armadillos breed in July, but get pregnant in November after delaying implantation. This allows the young to be born during the spring when there is an abundance of food.

Kinda like teenagers

Armadillos can be housebroken.

Not at all like teenagers

In order to scare away predators, Giant petrels, a type of seabird, throw up all over the intruder.

I've known people who do that too

The bright skin that hangs from a turkey's neck is called a "wattle."

Helen Thomas has one of those too

I Ain't Dead Yet

2005-10-19T21:37:00.000-04:00

Sorry to disappoint y'all, but I'm still kickin' and breathin', rabble rowsin' and instigatin'. :)

I apologize for the long absence without forewarning. In late August, I just burned out and got fed up with the whole world, and all the BS. I just needed to get away, but I should have given all my blog buds and readers a reason. I did not, and for that, I am sorry.

I will get back to regular blogging in a month or so. I thank all of my old blog friends and readers for not giving up on me, or dropping my links. I truly appreciate that.

I hope all of you have been well, and may G-d continue to be with you all.

Not A Geek

2005-08-29T01:27:00.000-04:00

Via Dane Bramage, I happened upon this little quiz:

I coulda told ya that.

It's My Birthday, And I'll Whine If I Wanna!

2005-08-21T22:48:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I don't whine. Though I do kvetch, gripe, complain, moan, groan, bitch, and occasionally stomp a foot or pound a fist.

Anyhoo, it was 32 years ago this day, that I was ~~hatched~~ born into this world, and if ya ask me, everyone is better off for it. You can snort and shake your head all ya want, but you know I'm right.

Besides this day bringing forth life into my glorious self, it is also the birthday of one of the finest singers who has ever lived; Kenny Rogers.

It's also the birthday of Melvin Van Peebles, Kim Cattrall, and Wilt Chamberlain, but Kenny's so much cooler than them folks.

As a lover of music , I feel the urge to place a song on here. But contrary to what you may think, it's not for me, or for Kenny, or anyone else in this world.

This song* (by Kenny Rogers, of course), is for the Being who has granted me my life thus far, saved my butt from so much pain and hardships,and stood with me in the hardest of times, and given me the strength to keep myself going, and be a support for my friends and loved ones when they hit hard times. I am of course, talking about the King of all Kings, the Man Himself, the Heavenly Father, HaShem, Adonai, The L-rd, G-d Almighty.

He has been so good and kind to me, and I pray you all be blessed by His Grace. May you all have long life, great joy, and much love and happiness.

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*I know this song was written to be romantic, but its' words can reflect many kinds of loving feelings. Don't be a vile heathen filthmonger by trying to pervert it.

Eleanor Cohen Seixas- Jewish Southern Patriot

2005-08-20T02:11:00.000-04:00

DIARY, February 28, 1865 - January 1st, 1866

COLUMBIA, February 28th, 1865: I have been in the habit of keeping a journal for ten years, from the time of girlish beatitude, "sweet sixteen," up to the mature age I have reached, twenty-six! All the labors of years, all the records of my girlish triumphs, of my first love, all have been destroyed, and yet I am determined to recommence the labors, to rebuild, from the ashes of despair, a new record, and enthrone blue-eyed hope as the presiding deity.

I am the eldest of three daughters, and the connecting link between two sets of children, having three brothers older than myself, one brother and two sisters younger. I was for many years the only daughter and, in consequence, was much petted and indulged. My dear father's fortunes have been sadly varied. My first recollection is of a sufficiency, every comfort. Then came wealth. When I reached womanhood all of life's choicest gifts were mine, but the wheels turned, and we were poor, very poor. Father labored nay and night, and could barely make both ends meet. I was young, hopeful, and energetic. I set to work and by doing various kinds of fancy work, at which I was an adept, I earned enough to clothe myself, except shoes, without calling on father. Peace then smiled on our land, calicoes were at the fabulous price of 12½¢!

But a revulsion came, the Union was destroyed, the Confederacy formed, and grim-visaged war, with all attendant horrors, desolated our land. The war brought money to father's coffers, and soon he became a rich man, rich, alas, only in Confederate money. Now all I wished for was mine, and even goods at fabulous prices were bought: tea at $1.25, coffee at 30¢, calico at 12¢ and 18¢.

So I will leave him and describe myself. At sixteen I fancies, if I was unmarried at twenty-five, I would surely be an old maid and feel inclined to resign all gayety. Now I have reached twenty-six. I feel nearly as young as I did then, and wonder if it is possibly true that I am so old. I am rather small, have a good figure, rather pretty, dark complexion, black eyes, and a quantity of straight, black hair of which I am rather proud, small hands and feet, with a bright expression. I am well educated, have read a good deal, and am called intelligent.

I have had several beaux and love affairs, and was privately engaged to be married at sixteen years to one I thought the perfection of a man. Now, with increased years and maturity of judgment, I bless G-d I did not marry him. I am quick-tempered, but warm and loving. He is jealous, passionate, dictatorial, and harsh, and, had I married him, my life would have been an endless quarrel, or I would have sunk into being a slave! But G-d kindly spared me, and tho' at the time I suffered, as every woman must, when she sees her idol shattered, yet I now and have for years blessed G-d, that I did not marry my first love.

Dear Journal, I suppose you think, as I am still Miss Cohen and twenty-six, that I am an old maid. No, for next month was to have smiled on my wedding, now indefinitely postponed. But I am betrothed, and to one who loves me truly, fondly, and with his whole heart, and I return his love. Yes, my noble, precious, darling, come what may, my heart is yours. I have been engaged six months to Mr. B. M. Seixas. He is very good-looking, gentlemanly, good-hearted, liberal, honest, and upright, and devotedly attached to me. My precious love, what would I not give for a glance at your dear face! But I must postpone until tomorrow the relation of the facts that destroyed my journals, postponed my wedding, and separated me from my love. My most intimate friends are Alice and Isabel Cohen, my cousins, and Fannie Stocker, my schoolmate, confidant, and true friend.

We are now in the fourth year of the fearful war that is now ravaging our land. In my last journals I had an accurate account of every detail, how determined the enemy were to possess dear old Charleston, how they shelled the city and we were hurried away, how my brave city, and forts held out, but this precious record is lost. But, thank G-d, it lives in my heart and in the heart of every true Southern man, woman, and child. But at last the dear old place has been evacuated and is in possession of the Yankees. Land of my birth, home of my childhood, dear to me as life, my heart bleeds for and with you, and every any sacrifice on my part which could be made, I would gladly, freely give it, for your precious sake. The Yankees now possess nearly every city of importance, yet the fire of patriotism and the determination to be free swells every nerve of our determined land. After the fall of Savannah, Columbia was threatened, but we could not bring ourselves to believe that Sherman could gain to great an advantage as to come so far into the heart of our state.

I was to be married in April, father was going to housekeeping, all was bright before me. Mr. Seixas left here on the seventh of February, promising to come again in March, and in April to come to claim his promised bride. Vain hope! When he left me, I felt a foreboding of evil and begged him to remain here. I made him reiterate again and again, and tell me repeatedly of his love, and vow again and again that nothing should wean his heart from me.

On the sixteenth [of February] the Yankees shelled Columbia without notice. On the seventeenth the city was evacuated by our soldiers and surrendered by the mayor. Oh, G-d, can I ever forget that day? Can time with Lethean draughts ever efface from my memory the deep sorrow, the humiliation, the agony of knowing we were to be under the Yankees, that our beloved flag was to be pulled down, and the U.S.A. flag wave over the city; that flag that carried loathing to every Southern heart; that flag whose sway is ever characterized by villainy, by outrage, and violence of every kind! About twelve o'clock they entered, the bands playing "The Star Spangled Banner," and the shouts of the soldiers filled the air. Main Street was a fearful sight; the stores were opened; black, white, children and all were helping themselves freely, stealing, ransacking, and pillaging. The report was that private property would be respected, and we all set quietly at home, trying to nerve ourselves for the trials. Gold and silver was hid in all imaginable places, provisions were scattered, and so the day passed on in feverish expectation, but as dark approached, all felt unhappy.

As the evening shades drew darker, the sky was illumined with crimson. It was a fearfully windy night, and, as we watched the sky, we heard the awful cry of "fire!" Oh, G-d, can I ever forget that night? But after a while we heard only Main Street was so burned. We gathered together in a room at the top of the house and, as we gazed, we saw new fires burst forth in every direction. The flames were seen, leaping and dancing, assisted by the winds in the work of destruction, and the air was filled with torpedoes, shells, hand grenades, and all the most instruments of evildoers. The exultant shout of the infuriated soldiers met the ears, and from every heart went up to G-d a prayer that we would lull the wind, stay the flames, and put mercy in the heart of our foes. Vain hopes! As well might we hope to have mercy from a lion.

We at home did not think the fire would reach us, but it did so rapidly, and we were urged to put a change of clothing in a bag and leave our house. We did, and as I left all my comforts, all the accumulated treasures of a lifetime, the letters of loved, absent ones, pictures of our precious relations, tokens and souvenirs of childhood, a feeling of fearful desolation came upon me. By this time the streets were crowded with the "vandal foe," and as we reached the street, were greeted by: "How so you like secesh now?" "Columbia is skedaddling," "Columbia is on a picnic," and curses too fearful to be entered in my book.

We met crowds in the street, almost a procession of men, women, and children, and what was most remarkable was the calmness of our people. Our women and even our children behaved with fortitude. We knew not where to go; our party was large and many children. The flames seemed to encircle us like a belt, and the heat was so great that our faces were scorched and blackened by smoke! We went to the country with barely food enough for a day! Starvation, or death by fire, seemed inevitable. After we reached the the woods, we were surrounded by drunken soldiers. Father was fearful for our lives and brought us again to the city. At this crisis, I fainted, and remained so nearly an hour. We went to a house, and, immediately after I revived, we moved again to the street. We were compelled to abandon our clothing, for father and mother had to support me, and thus we were houseless, homeless, and without food or clothing. In one night we were brought from comparative wealth and luxury to abject poverty. After wandering for many hours, we were advised to seek refuge in the lunatic asylum, and hither we bent our steps.

Words are inadequate to describe the scene that greeted our eyes; old men tottering under the weight of some trifling bundle that he valued; young girls weighted down with heavy packages. Some had clothing; some, food, while some convulsively clasped an ornament, a picture, a package of letters, and some had nothing, but were walking quietly along as if stunned.

After many delays we reached the asylum and went to the chapel, which we found crowded. There we remained four days without mattress, pillow, or anything but the hard floor to lie on, and almost in a starving condition. I never imagined I should be so near actual starvation. From Friday night until Saturday night, I had only a small slice of corn bread to eat, thick and heavy, made of meal and water. While we remained there we suffered in every way that human nature is capable of suffering: want of rest, food, even water, without a change of clothing, or privacy to change it in.

The fire raged fearfully all night, but on Saturday perfect quiet reigned. The vile Yankees took from us clothing, food, jewels, all our cows, horses, carriages, etc., and left us in a deplorable condition after stealing from us. Sherman, with great generosity, presented the citizens with 500 cattle, so poor they could hardly stand up. No words of mine can give any idea of the brutality of the ruffians. They swore, they cussed, plundered, and committed every excess. No age or sex was safe from them. Sometimes, after saving some valueless token it was ruthlessly snatched from our hands by some of their horde. Our noble women were insulted by words, and some, I have heard of, in deeds, but none came under my knowledge, for I myself, G-d be praised, I received no rude word from any of them. I did not speak...to them at all. The fire burned eighty-four squares, and nothing can tell the quantity of plunder they carried off as Monday they left us, and though we feared starvation, yet we were glad to be rid of them.

Our family, much to our joy, removed to Melvin's who was not burned out. we stayed there two weeks, then removed to Uncle Jack's. He and his family have gone to Augusta, left Grandpa and Aunt Rachel, and gave us his house and provisions. He is immensely rich and has been very liberal and kind to Pa. Cousin Frank is also staying. Miss Amanda has a baby and is in the drawing room, which was the scene lately of so much gayety at Alice's wedding. It is turned into a bedroom. All my trousseau was burned and stolen, and, oh, saddest of all, I know not where my precious love is or if he is a prisoner, wounded, or dead.

This is the heaviest trial. April was to have been our bridal; now, alas, it is indefinitely postponed. I feel truly as if my fate was a hard one. From the pinnacle of happiness, I have reached the lowest depths of despair. Life seems worthless. I have no energy, no spirit; all are gone. Oh, my G-d, teach me to bear my burden. Oh, my own love, I never knew how precious you were to me until now.

March 7th: We are comfortable fixed at Uncle J. The family numbers twenty-three, and I am kept busy for I do nearly all the housekeeping, attend to the milk, make butter, etc. No news yet of my darling, and time drags slowly along. My dear father is about beginning life anew; his fate is hard. All my friends or most of them have proven themselves true. Fannie I can never forget. She offered me the half of all she had. She found out what I required and gave it to me, and acted like a sister. So did Isabel, poor child...Dr. Davega is staying with us. All the clothing we have was saved by Rose, our faithful servant. She and Helen were true, so was Lavinia. I shall ever remember her devotion to us. She gave us cotton homespun and behaved like a friend. Ben, who we believed faithful, left us; he says, or said, he was forced to.

March 3d: Slowly and sadly the months drag along. 'Tis six months since my engagement (not six months since I knew of and returned my darling's love, but six months since my father's consent was formally asked and given), and all but the last have been months of perfect happiness to me. No word yet of Mr. Seixas, and, strange to say, many letters have been received and many persons come out. I have perfect confidence in him, but I am very miserable, for a dread is on my that my best beloved may be a prisoner, or sick among strangers, with no loving hand to tend him. Nightly I wet my pillow with my tears, and intrust him, now nearly my all, to G-d's protection. Everything jogs quietly along, wagons come and go, and letters from loved ones serve to cheer our dark lives.

March 30th: Thanks be to G-d; I have heard of my intended. Yesterday, on Hyam's return from the office, he told me there was no letter for me, only one for father. With a deep sigh I turned away to hide from the fear of disappointment that daily fills my eyes when I receive the same reply. Father broke the seal and commenced reading: "At Mr. B. M. Seixas' request." I sprang to his side and said, "Father, don't jest with me." He said: "I am not jesting; read, child," and placed the letter in my hand. It swam before me; I was so excited but, to my great joy, I read that the writer, a Mr. Thomas, wrote to tell me that Mr. Seixas was well, and had, with two others, opened a store in King Street [Charleston, S.C.], and was making a living, and urged father to come down as soon as possible.

Of course, I am very happy to know he is well, and doing well; yet there is a pang, deep and sore at my heart. Unless he expected us down (and he had no reason to think so), it seems strange to me that he should willingly, as it were, separate himself from me. To no human being, however, would I express this thought for, though it looks strange to me, I doubt not he knows best and is doing what he considers easiest for both of us. I will not allow doubt of his truth to cross my mind. No! no shade of suspicion shall may the bright purity of our love and, although I cannot prevent a heaviness of my heart sometimes, yet I battle with it and try to believe all is right. A gentleman came out last week from the city and brought 500 letters, and yet not one for me. 'Tis very hard to bear, and I pray to G-d to grant me strength not to murmur or repine.

April 4th: My mother's wedding day, thirty-three years married! And it was to have been mine, but G-d ordained it differently. I bow in submission to G-d's will and struggle to say, "Thy will, not mine, be done." And I could easily bear the postponement of my marriage, if Mr. Seixas was only here to share with, and lighten, my trials. The day dawned brightly, the sun gleamed with an added lustre, and as I threw upon my window, I hailed it as an omen of good. Oh, I do hope, ere long I will get a sweet, loving letter that will dispel the faint doubts that will come sometimes. I think, if he tried to send a letter to me as hard as I tried to send one to him, I might have got one, but men occupied with business do not feel as we do, and I suppose he thinks he is working to keep us together, it matters not if we don't hear from each other.

Spring with all its thousand beauties is here. The genial air, the perfume of a thousand flowers, greet me and cheer me when saddest. Columbia is a lovely spot and, even in the places where the fire had fearfully devastated, nature is doing a great deal to atone for the ruins. The wild jessamin blows and trails for the want of its accustomed pillow, which formerly was its support. Snowdrops, roses, and all of G-d's most perfect work gladdens our sight, and from my heart of heart goes up to G-d thanks for his most beauteous works. These sweet tokens of G-d's goodness do much to reconcile us to the vandals' destruction. They could have selected a better season, if any season is good, for such atrocity.

April 16th: Joy is mine, dear Journal: I have had a letter from my most precious love. He is well and doing well, is doing business in Charleston, in dear old King St. He expects us down, but says if Pa don't come, he will come for me, and be married, Oh, happy I am to be reassured of his love, to read his fond letter, and know he loves me as fondly as ever! And yet there is a sad struggle in my heart, if to leave my dear parents in their time of trouble, our cause and country in her darkest hours, to follow him, or to allow him to come for his wife, and find her unwilling to return with him. I do not yet clearly see my duty---I fear I don't see clearly, for the path of duty is seldom adorned with flowers. Father, mother, and all here think I should go. I am getting ready the few things I have to do. Oh, it is sad to see what my trousseau now will be and compare it with what it might have been! But my love loves me not for fine clothes.

April 20th: A dark, heavy cloud dims the brightness that has illumed my life since I received Mr. S.'s letters. Father called me and told me a friend had told him there was much bad feeling excited towards Mr. S., owing to his intimacy with the Yankees, and some even declared he was in their pay, and he had pointed out Rebel property, and that his life was not safe if he came up. Father said he wished to write him not to come up for the present. Farewell to all my hopes of a speedy marriage, and, saddest of all, me may come up and be arrested. Oh, G-d, have pity on me! I have suffered greatly; spare me this.

April 21st: A sad record today of crushed hopes, wasted life, and fruitless exertion. Our noble General Lee with 30,000 men were surrounded by 200,000 men, and were compelled to surrender. Johnston and Sherman met and agreed to suspend hostilities for the present and not to renew the fight without two days' notice. During this truce a peace will be arranged, but what a peace! And although I am glad, aye, very glad, to have the fearful loss of life stopped, and to feel once again the security that peace alone can give, yet it is fearful to know that we are conquered! By superior numbers all the gallantry of our soldiers, all their suffering, avail nothing. We struggled for freedom, but found it not. Oh, G-d, fill us with fortitude to bear this reverse!

April 30th: Politically I have much to say. No peace yet agreed upon, but negotiations are being carried on, and people generally think peace will follow. Abram Lincoln was assassinated in the Washington theatre by a man who exclaimed: "Death to traitors; Virginia is avenged!" So our worst enemy is laid low, and Seward, the arch fiend, was also stabbed, and today we hear the glorious tidings that the Yankee Congress had a row, and Andy Johnson was killed. G-d grant so may all our foes perish! I had a short letter today from Mr. S., but it told me he was well, and loved me; so I am happy.

June 2d: I cannot but blame myself for my long neglect of this dear old book, but really I have lived in such a whirl that I entirely forgot to note events, important as they are. Peace has come, but, oh, G-d, what a different peace to the one we prayed for! We are conquered by superior numbers. Sherman and Johnston declared an armistice; since then, the war is over, we know not on what terms.

Slavery is done away with. Our noble Jeff Davis, as well as all of our great men, are prisoners; even the governors of the several states have been arrested.Confederate money is worthless, and greenbacks rule the day. Columbia and all the principal cities are garrisoned by Yankees. How it makes my Southern blood boil to see them in our streets! Yes, we are again in the hated Union, and over us again floats the banner that is now a sign of tyranny and oppression. Johnson was not killed and is now President. Sad, sad is the change since the days of Washington. My brothers are all home after fearful deprivations and hardships. Than G-d, they are spared. Poor Josh Moses, the flower of our circle, was killed at Blakely [Alabama, April, 1865]. He was a noble man, another martyr to our glorious cause.

I have had several letters from Mr. S. He is well and doing well, and truly loves me, and he says he can't leave business to come before the roads open. But I have written so often to beg him to I hope he may come. Pa has gone to town; we expect him daily. When he comes, I will know when Mr. S. is coming. I am all ready. Would to G-d he would come soon! I am weary of uncertainty and long to see him.

June 23d, 1865: This book is a sad record of broken intentions. I resolve and re-resolve to write weekly and yet I fail to do so, nor can I plead want of time, for of that, if nothing else, I have plenty. Pa returned and brought me a letter from Mr. Seixas, containing the greatest disappointment I ever had. I felt certain that, if Mr. S. did not come with him, he would soon follow, but, to my grief, he wrote he would not be able to come. He feared he could not come until August, for business had not been good, and he feared he could not afford to marry at present. Independently of my sorrow at not seeing him, the trial was more bitter owing to the fact that all my humble preparations were completed, even my clothes done up, and everyone expected my marriage, and, as I could not give out the reason, persons think it strange.

Oh, G-d, my trials this year have been great. Grant, I beseech thee, they may soon end! Another source of trouble to me is that Mr. S. wants to go North. This is natural, for his family are there, but, oh, I don't want to go. My feelings are yet too bitter to go among them. I cannot so soon forget Sherman, and, while I hope to love Mr. S.'s family, I fear some remark may call forth my Southern blood, and it would be truly disagreeable to have any dispute. Besides, father's loss is so great he can't give me a trousseau, and I do dislike going among total strangers, who will value me for my dress, destitute as I am of so many things. Besides, if Mr. S. is poor, it will be a great expense, and I think we ought to study economy. Mr. S. does not write satisfactorily. He speaks of buying furniture, and I think it far more pleasant and economical to board at first. He is also not very attentive in writing and, though I don't doubt his love, it makes me very unhappy.

Our servants, born and reared in our hands, hitherto devoted to us, freed by Lincoln, left us today. It is a severe trial to mother, and quite a loss to me. Among them went Lavinia, a girl given to me by my grandmother, very handy, and who had promised always to remain with and, when I was married, to go with me. Mr. S. was so pleased; he wrote me to tell her, if she proved faithful, he would take her North and show her as one faithful servant. But she went. She behaved better than most of them; she offered to come to me in town and do anything. She gave me notice and showed regret at parting. This is one of the fruits of the war. I, who believe in the institution of slavery, regret deeply its being abolished. I am accustomed to have them wait on me, and I dislike white servants very much.

My brothers are all home and in no business. Father's circumstances are very bad; what he will do, G-d alone knows. It is hard; he is an old man, a good husband and father, and son. At his time of life to start fresh is hard. Next week is Mr. S.'s birthday, and I have written him and sent him a small picture of myself done by Lawrence. I hope it will please him.

July 6th: It is nearly two weeks since I heard from Mr. S. His negligence is very painful to me, and, though I don't doubt his love, yet this annoys me much for, if he is so careless to writing, perchance he may be careless in other things after marriage, but I hope not. The Fourth was celebrated by the "freedmen". They had orations, a barbecue, fireworks, and a general jubilee. To me it was a say day of humiliation. ...Our cause is lost; we are conquered and feel the yoke. Mr. Seixas wrote Pa he hoped to be at North by August 1st; so I guess I will be married late this month. Oh, I hope I will not be again disappointed. 'Tis five months since I have seen Mr. Seixas, and I do yearn to see him.

Oh! I think with pain of having to go North, for, although I long to know his family, yet I feel too bitter towards them to desire to go North. And besides, although I have now a neat, comfortable trousseau, very nice for Charleston, but, oh, not fit to go North; and besides, I don't feel like going where fashion and dress rule the day. But Mr. Seixas wills it so. I must submit. Time glides swiftly by. Oh, hasten, time, and bring me to the care of my best love! For I do long to see and be with him. Patience and trust in G-d, and all may be well.

Columbia, July 9th: I feel very anxious and unhappy, although I try not to show it. I have not heard from Mr. Seixas for two weeks. I fear he is sick, and if it is not so, it is equal pain to be neglected. He has never even acknowledged the receipt of my picture. I don't doubt him, but he is too inattentive, G-d grant I may soon hear!

July 26th: Grand news, dear old book! I guess this is the last entry Eleanor Cohen will ever make in this book, for next Wednesday, G-d willing, I will become Mrs. B.M. Seixas. This event, log, long, looked, is at hand, and yet I hardly realize it. I don't yet feel either scary or nervous, though my whole being is pervaded by a kind of serious strain of thought, and I feel fully that I am leaving the love that is tried and true, going to the love untried and new. I have ever been an indulged, petted daughter. I had my own way considerably and, now entering on new duties. I feel that perchance I will have to give all this up. I know Mr. S. loves me, and I love him with my whole heart. I am willing to make sacrifices for him, and all I ask is that he will continue to love me, to be patient with my high tempter, and, above all, be just. I had a telegram yesterday. I look for him every day. 'Tis six months since I have seen him, and my heart yearns for him. G-d grant me strength to be a good, true wife, show me the clear line of duty!

I expect to be married next Wednesday at four o'clock, leave at five for Winnsboro, to go North. It seems to me to be very hard to go away among those who were so lately our enemies and, as my heart is filled with southern fire, I fear I may, by look or word, say things that I ought not to; but I will try to learn to keep quiet. Truly I fear the change from deathlike quiet of Columbia to the whirl and confusion of gay New York will almost set me wild. I am calmly, quietly happy.

I regret much that neither Alice nor sis will be with me at this time, but am thankful that Fannie, my first true friend, is here. In accordance with a childish promise, she will be my first bridesmaid. My wedding will be very private, very quiet.

August 2d, 1865: My wedding day, can it be, long thought of, long hoped for, here at last? I am very, very happy, fully satisfied of Mr. Seixas' love, yet feeling a shade of deep pain at the severing of old ties, leaving my darling parents to go among new relations. Today I cease to be a girl, a woman, and enter on the cue of a wife. G-d grant me strength to act correctly, to make him happy and, above all, to live in the fear and love of G-d! Can it be that today maidenhood ceases? Oh, this getting married is no trifle, but an event that gives rise to grave, serious thought.

My new life is full of anxiety and care, and my old one is not free from it. But my faith in G-d is strong, and blue-eyed hope cheers me with the reflection that all cares and troubles will be shared by one who is dearer to me than life; and the full conviction of his pure, true love seems to render me happy. He is strange, and we are strange engaged people, yet I feel fully satisfied with him. Increased knowledge of his character has made me love him better. It is a strange day for August, cool, and like April, alternate gleams of sunshine and of cloud. Oh, I hope it won't rain while the ceremony is going on, or until I leave.

The wedding will be quiet, at two o'clock. Mesader kiddushin by Mr. Jacob Cohen. We leave at four with Frederic Jacobs. Strange, is it not, he should be wagoner for me on my bridal tour? This event, the crowning glory of woman's life, this giving up herself to the one who is her glory and her pride, has come for me. Teach, oh, Lord, thy child to act with becoming behavior; let modesty and purity direct my life; let truth and propriety be my guide, and if I can be loved by my new master, as by my family, all well be well. I can write no more; this is the last, dying effort of Eleanor H. Cohen, spinster.

Entry number one of Mrs. B. M. Seixas. Richmond, August 6th, 1865: Yes, I am a bride, a wife, four days married, but I must start at the beginning. The sun shone clearly, brightly, while I was married. All said I looked better than I ever did before, and I feel I did look well. I was very plainly dressed. White Swiss muslin, high neck and long sleeves, trimmed with Valienciene lace, lace barbe at my throat, my hair beautifully braided, a white illusion that enveloped me, and a few natural flowers. All passed off well. The glass broke; the ring was on my finger, and from every side I received kisses and congratulations for Mrs. Seixas. Mr. S. was very nicely dressed. He wore a suit of black, except a very handsome, white vest. He looked remarkably well. He was serious and felt fully the responsibility of his position. My cake was splendid, and, after eating it and drinking my health, I hastened to my room and donned my travelling dress.

We left at four, in a Confederate wagon drawn by four mules. Fred was driving. I was in a gale of spirits, laughing, gossiping, and teasing Mr. S.'s life out of him. I felt the parting and had to show my excitement either in tears or smiles; so, as I bride, I preferred smiles. I made Mr. S. laugh until he was weak. He was kind, gentle, tender, and loving. We arrived at White Oaks in time to take the cart. We met there a Mr. Stockton and lady, a newly married couple. It was very pleasant to have them for travelling companions. Mr. Goodwin of Columbia was with us and gave us no peace, telling everybody we were bride and groom.

August 30th: I feel quite ashamed of my neglect of my dear old friend, but for four weeks I have lived in such a whirl that it was impossible to write. We had a delightful time coming on. Memory will ever rest joyfully on my bridal tour. We stopped Friday night in Raleigh, then in Peterburg, Richmond, Philadelphia, Washington. I saw all the battlefields, and cannot describe my feeling in leaving Richmond, for then I felt I left the sunny South, home of my birth, my choice, and my heart. We stopped at the best hotels everywhere; each one was better than the other, until we reached Philadelphia. The Continental there surpassed anything I ever dreamed of. We had two rooms, parlor and bedroom, furnished with green velvet, meuble mantle, étagère mirrors, and in superb style.

We arrived after six days' travel in New York City. We met Mr. Seixas' father at the wharf. They greeted me very kindly, put us in a carriage, and drove us up to the house, 129 West Thirty-Eighth. It is a large, four-story house. Imagine my feelings in going to see perfect strangers! His mother wept over us, and all greeted me with affection. I was taken to my room, a nice, large one, all ready for me, and I love them all already. Vic [Mrs. Meyer Seixas] is very kind to me. She has three lovely children and the prospect of a fourth.

My experience of married life is that there is no true happiness in single life, yet marriage without love must be intolerable. Only deep, pure, holy love can ever fit a woman for what she has to undergo. My dear husband is kind and affectionate. Of course he has faults, as have I, but I will try to cure mine, and bear with his. His greatest fault is that he never thinks seriously. He is always lighthearted, and life is not made of sunshine alone, as we all know.

He has determined to stay in New York, and this has pained me much, for I don't like this place to live in. It is too grand, too large, too gay and fashionable to suit poor me, and I wanted to live with my beloved family. The separation from them is too hard, but as a true wife I try to reconcile myself to my husband's will. I have visited theatres, ice cream saloons, etc., and I am forcibly struck by the contrast between the prosperous North and our poor, desolate South, yet is she dearer to me in her desolation than this gay, heartless country.

I have not been well and have yearned for home and ma. The first year, all say, is hard. I am obeying my husband. My honeymoon is over; a glorious one it has been. I have had crowds of calls.

Sep. 10: While my husband is taking his Sunday nap, I will scribble off a few lines. I am very happy as far as my husband's love goes but, as I continue to feel unwell, I long to be at home. Oh, I am heartsick and homesick. I hope to see Susie Oakes tomorrow and will be glad to see a home face. I shall also cheer my heart by going to see Bee and talk of home.

January 1st, 1866: I feel very much ashamed of myself to think I have allowed so long a time to pass, but now, at the new year, I must take a retrospective glance at the past, present, and future. My husband will live in New York, and I have reconciled myself to it, for he is so good, so kind. I must be happy; my marriage life is a truly happy one, and I can't feel grateful enough to G-d for the blessing he has given me in my precious husband. His business is as good as we could expect, and life looks brightly to me. My parents expect daily to go to Charleston, and I will go home in two months to stay three.

Dear old Journal, let me whisper to you that a woman's crowning glory will, with G-d's blessing, be mine this year. I will become a mother. Oh, how my heart thrills at the word! Yes, please G-d, in May I will have a pledge of love given me in our baby, as we love to call it, the blessed assurance of my husband's love. I can hardly believe it, that I will be a mother. My dear husband had liberally supplied me with materials, and I am busy making up a baby wardrobe.

From Memoirs of American Jews, 1775-1865, vol. 3, p. 357.

What Year Do You Belong In?

2005-08-18T15:50:00.000-04:00

You Belong in 1959

1959

If you scored...

1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

Golly gee whiz! Heh ;)

What Celebrity Matches Your Taste in Music?

2005-08-18T14:11:00.000-04:00

Your Musical Tastes Match: Nicole Kidman

See her whole playlist here (iTunes required)

What Celebrity Matches Your Taste in Music?

Let me out of the cah, Cole. Let me out of the cah!

What's Yer Rising Sign?

2005-08-18T13:56:00.000-04:00

Your Rising Sign is Scorpio

You're so intense and passionate - you're on fire!

You want to be an angel or a devil... you can't decide which.

No wonder you seem moody and even a little dangerious.

You've got some major mystery going on, so work it!

Your personality is the strongest of all signs, making you hard to deal with.

While you're ruthless to your enemies, you're loyal to your one true love.

What is Your Rising Sign?

'Tis true. ;)

I Am The Very Model Of An Archaic Dictatorial Warlord

2005-08-17T21:39:00.000-04:00

Well, that title don't have a very catchy tune to it, do it?

Anyhoo, I was browsing Dr. Sanity a little while ago, one of the newest blogs I have found and really like. She made a great and hilarious post here that slams the wretched UN, and does so in very classy style, via a classic diddy from the excellent theatre works of Gilbert and Sullivan.

In case anyone of you don't know of, or aren't versed in the excellent plays of these fine gentlemen, and don't know what it is Dr. Sanity is parodying, I will add some audio for ya. I'm good like that.

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The Liar Speaks Tonight

2005-08-17T17:49:00.000-04:00

I've wondered for the last year or so, what happened to David Duke. I haven't seen hide nor hair of that filthy mongrel pig in almost 5 years, since I had the misfortune of getting within 10 feet of his worthless hide in 2000, when he (uninvited) showed up in Columbia, at a Confederate flag support rally I was attending.

Well, as luck and fate often have it, I was prowling and sneaking through Evil Glenn's blog awhile ago, and found the schmuck. And I was not surprised at all to see his bull dumplings of a scheme.

This pig eating son of a motherless goat, is siding with the pro-Marxist, pro-Communist, pro-Socialist douche drinking bitch, Cindy Sheehan. Yeah, big surprise.

The extreme right have always been bed buddies with the far left and muslim lovers, so it is no surprise to see this.

Jewish Redneck

2005-08-17T01:27:00.000-04:00

I've had this story for over two years. I have enjoyed it more and more each time I read it. I hope you will too.

Jewish Redneck

By Diane Goldberg

Why would a nice Jewish girl scream, "Oh, sweet Jesus," when she
comes? Because there's no escaping Jesus in the South.

Being a Jewish Southerner is an obscure identity; it has put me at
odds with myself. And yet it is a strangely harmonious experience,
too. Southern belles and Jewish American Princesses both have great
nails and a love-hate relationship with hairdressers. A JAP-belle is a
hybrid of Monica Lewinsky and Scarlett O'Hara – if the costume changes
don't kill me, the conflicting mythos will. Between the redneck
foreplay jokes and Jewish blow-job jokes, my scrambled psyche doesn't
know whether to redecorate or indulge in arson.

The combination of Jewish and Southern is lethal – particularly for
the woman living it. Both belles and JAPs are classic hysterics.
That's the payoff and the curse of my dual heritage. Scarlett chucking
the vase at Rhett and the Jewish princess having a neurotic episode
are female archetypes. With our flushed cheeks and incoherent ranting,
we are out of control and therefore good in bed.

Not all of the folks on Springer are from the South. It just seems
that way. No guest on Springer is Jewish. We've yet to see a show on
"Hassids in leather" or "yentas who do their grandkids." Still, most
of America knows about Jews ... we're loud, we exclude others, and
we're arrogant. We're as obnoxious as rednecks.

When Dale Earnhardt went into the wall at Daytona, I wanted to run to
the speedway and recite kaddish. The first time I got drunk, it was on
Mogen David wine. The second time was on a concoction, reminiscent of
Jonestown Kool-Aid and liniment, called Purple Jesus. I'm a Jewish
redneck.

Jews and Southerners share Judah P. Benjamin, odd accents, and
cholesterol-rich diets. We also share a sense of marginalization –
having, yet not having, a country. We are Americans; sure, we are, as
long as we stay in our suburbs or trailer parks. White Southerners are
the only Americans who feel they've lost a war. And somewhere in our
ancestry, we might have the DNA of a slave owner. Most of us have the
DNA of slaves as well, but that doesn't give us any victim cred. The
African DNA indicates that we are the offspring of rapist slave
owners.

The children of Auschwitz survivors have no victim cred. The world is
tired of hearing about the Holocaust. Particularly since the onset of
the current Intifada proved that the grandchildren of those dead
shtetl Jews refuse to invite Oprah to mediate the Mideast into a
hugfest.

I've been to Masada, and I have been to Appomattox – one is the site
of surrender, and one is the site of no surrender, yet they are
somehow similar. They are both part of my heritage, and neither of
them makes sense in a postmodern world without honor. Yet honor still
has meaning in the South and among Jews. It's still possible to crash
and burn for unfashionable concepts like manhood or mensch-hood.

When I was a teen, I migrated to the liberal North, believing that New
York City was the promised land. I could wear bohemian black and be
delivered from Deliverance. I sought the sanctuary of coffeehouses and
the company of other black-clad depressives who disdained NASCAR.
Nowhere did I encounter the beauty and grace, the Götterdämmerung, the
aching loss of classicism that is inbred in the South and infused in
the chicken soup of being Jewish outside a Jewish enclave. Long Island
Jews have no sense of being strangers in a strange land.

Both Southerners and Jews know how to weep, how to mourn, and, most of
all, how nothing lasts forever. Yankees drip naïveté: they seem to
believe that things once fixed are fixed, that that which Abe Lincoln
joined together we cannot rip asunder.

Southerners and Jews know defeat. It doesn't make us cynics – it makes
us poets. In the building-bound North I missed the mildew and decay
hanging off the eaves of wedding-cake houses inhabited by slightly mad
old ladies. I missed the speck on the horizon of sun-baked fields
bordering on swampland. I hungered for a homeland that is not mine.

I returned to Carolina, away from the delis that sold chopped liver to
the land of pickled pigs feet. I drove down steaming asphalt in an old
Pontiac, a crotch-warmed beer between my thighs, my sunburned
shoulders contrasting with my pale Jewish face. Kudzu covered
abandoned cars. Strip-mall stores sold porn videos on the rack next to
pork skins.

A story, repeated by numerous rabbis, tells of a small Southern town
with one Jewish family. Somewhere in the South, a solitary Jewish
family managed nicely next to Holy Roller neighbors. A second Jew
moved into town. Jew number two opened his business on Saturday. The
town was appalled. He was shunned on the streets. Bankruptcy
threatened. Then the sheriff came calling and said, "Pardon me, Mr.
Solomon, but round here we like our Jews to keep the Sabbath."

The South still lurks beneath banking, azaleas, ex-pat Midwesterners
driving SUVs, and chain restaurants. It's rooted in history. When I
grew up here, Jews could not live in particular sections of town or
join country clubs or do a hundred other things that violated the
unspoken rules of knowing your place. But, within our place, we
managed.

Friends and Neighbruhs

2005-08-14T21:28:00.000-04:00

Via Evil Glenn, I happened upon this mulleticious video.

I ain't seen that many mullets since....an hour ago.

9 Layers of Moe

2005-08-14T15:15:00.000-04:00

I did one of these last year with some other folks, but forgot about it until a friend sent it to me recently. I dunno if it's a meme or one of those forwarded email things, but I found it sorta amusing. I figured I'd post it here for a lark.

Don't worry, I ain't gonna meme anyone....yet. ;)

LAYER ONE:
-- Name: Moshe
-- Birth date: August, 1973
-- Birthplace: Somewhere in South Carolina
-- Current Location: Columbia, SC
-- Eye Color: Green
-- Hair Color: Sandy blonde
-- Height: 5'10" (barefoot)
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty
-- Zodiac Sign: Leo

LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: Mostly German, with a smathering of Irish and English
-- The shoes you wore today: Cherokee work boots
-- Your weakness: Beer, whiskey and tobacco
-- Your fears: Clowns, midgets and vortexes
-- Your perfect pizza: 5 cheeses, onions, bell peppers, mushrooms, and olives
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: Finally being able to afford a 90'-120' windjammer

LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: Don't use AIM much, but on Yahoo, MSN and ICQ, it's "heh" and "indeed", and "vile"
-- Your first waking thoughts: I ain't dead yet?
-- Your best physical feature: My eyes
-- Your most missed memory: I don't remember

LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: Coke
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Neither. I like Wendy's and Hardee's
-- Single or group dates: Single
-- Adidas or Nike: I don't wear sneakers
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Either, as long as it's sweet and iced
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee

LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: Like a '72 Gremlin
-- Cuss: Hell yes
-- Sing: Quite often
-- Take a shower everyday: Yep, I ain't French
-- Do you think you've been in love: No
-- Want to go to college: Been there, done that
-- Liked high school: Yep
-- Want to get married: If I meet the right woman, sure.
-- Believe in yourself: Always
-- Get motion sickness: Never
-- Think you're attractive: Hell no. I'm ugly as sin and 3 times as smelly
-- Think you're a health freak: Nope
-- Get along with your parent(s): My dad, yes. My mother, never.
-- Like thunderstorms: My favorite weather
-- Play an instrument: Spoons and jugs

LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: Of course
-- Smoked: 3 packs a day
-- Done a drug: Nope
-- Made Out: Nein
-- Gone on a date: Nyet
-- Gone to the mall?: Lo
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: I don't like sweets, except for an ice cream once a year or so
-- Eaten sushi: Never!
-- Been on stage: Non
-- Been dumped: Nope
-- Gone skating: Oh please
-- Made homemade cookies: No
-- Dyed your hair: No way in hell
-- Stolen Anything: Nope

LAYER SEVEN: Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Nope
-- If so, was it mixed company: See above
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Aye
-- Been caught "doing something": Nope
-- Been called a tease: Been called a lot of things. "Tease" weren't one of them
-- Gotten beaten up: Been busted up in plenty of bar brawls, but never "beaten" up
-- Shoplifted: No
-- Changed who you were to fit in: Never. I yam what I yam

LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: Any age. I don't ever see it happening, though.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: I have no children (that I know of)
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: Traditional Orthodox
-- How do you want to die: With my eyes open and my boots on
-- Where you want to go to college: Been there twice. Ain't going back
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: I'm already grown and I still don't know
-- What country would you most like to visit: Israel

LAYER NINE:
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 4 or 5
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: 0
-- Number of CDs that I own: 3
-- Number of piercings: 0
-- Number of tattoos: 1, soon to be removed
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: 5 or 6
-- Number of scars on my body: Too many to count
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: 0

Purity Test

2005-08-14T09:39:00.000-04:00

Heh :)

John Bolton

2005-08-10T02:21:00.000-04:00

I've not said much about it lately, but have long awaited seeing John Bolton as Ambassador to the UN. He's a great choice, and a far cry from the sniveling, hiney-kissing wimps and appeasers we've had in the past. He's got that tough and in-your-face attitude that in my eyes, solves most problems. Talking is for folks who are scared to death of their own shadow. When dealing with a mean and nasty individual, or country, you don't want them to like you or view you as an "equal". You want them to fear you, and think you are unstable and dangerous as hell.

John Bolton's record seems to have given this image to many folks. G-d willing, he will project this same image to the Ambassadors of all nations. I hope he won't allow himself to be tamed, as always seems to happen with everyone who gets involved in politics, but we'll see, I reckon.

In the meantime, I'm gonna make this his theme song:

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He's like a very angry Wilfred Brimley.

I'm gonna spill your blood sugar, and I'm gonna spill it often.

Voting Christian

2005-08-10T01:57:00.000-04:00

I was reading this story earlier, and I just had to shake my head. It seems Abe Foxman of the Anti-Defamation League has got his panties all in a wad (again) about something Jerry Falwell said a few months ago.

In a fund raising letter sent out by Falwell Ministries, he included the statement, "Vote Christian in 2008".

What's the big deal? I've always voted Christian, and as long as I reside in the United States, I probably always will. Until a true right-wing, devout Jew throws his hat in the ring and stands on the principles I believe in, I'll always vote this way. I really don't care if a person is Christian or Jewish, as long as they are one or the other, and a true believer. I don't want an agnostic or heathen or "high holiday" schmuck running any aspect of my community or government. I don't trust their kind to have the decency and values that are necessary to properly govern this Republic.

But this isn't the first time Foxman has sounded the alarm and tried to get Jews all upset and in a panic. He did this in the months leading up to the release of 'The Passion of the Christ', when he convinced so many, that this film was gonna turn all Christians into goose-stepping nazis, and bring down another Holocaust upon us.

Yeah, sure Abe.

MoeBetta Headlines 08/09/05

2005-08-09T10:22:00.000-04:00

British Minorities Slam Proposed Labels

Prefer to call a spade a diamond, and a club a heart

Bosnian Serb War Crimes Suspect Arrested

Clinton's been arrested?

Rosie O'Donnell to Join 'Fiddler on Roof'

Tevye kills self

Britney BB Case On 'Front Burner'

Court demands to see DD's in XXX, ASAP

A guy with some explaining to do...

Lucy swipes Ricky's catchphrase

And the song that changed the world is...

Do the Bartman!

Radio Station to Stop Slapping Contest

Zha Zha Gabor's title secure

Cheerleaders Use Chant to Help Police

Gimme an H, gimme an O, gimme an M-O-C, gimme an I-D-E! Yay!

'Three Stooges' Action Lands Boy in Court

Imitated Shemp, broke golden rule of Stooge fans

S.C. Republicans Want Beer Money Back

Those suds were flatter than Calista Flockhart's.....feet

Do Extinct Woodpeckers Make Noise?

I dunno, but stinky peckerwoods sure make an awful racket

Still in the Mood for a Collaboration

France, Holland stay true to form in face of islamic domination

As always, you can find mucho funny headlines at:

basil's blog
moehawk's
Dane Bramage
The Capitalist

I Got Rights Too, A-Hole

2005-08-07T10:12:00.000-04:00

While I was writing this post a week or so ago, I kept thinking of a particular song. At the time, I had no way to link it or let you hear it. I have surmounted that problem, I think. We'll see.

Powered by Castpost

I'm not sure how this new player thingy is gonna work out. If it makes my blog hard to load, or gets things complicated, lemme know.

MoeBetta Ethnic Blogging

2005-08-06T16:48:00.000-04:00

I usually avoid discussing the races of mankind, unless it involves white folks, black folks, red folks, yellow folks, or brown folks (I'm good like that), but I couldn't avoid it today.

My blog brother Dane Bramage went and took a peek into his ethnic roots. Cool deal. But he didn't like what he saw, so he started digging into my German roots, which I was less pleased than he about.

I ain't sure who I'm supposed to cheer for; Nelson Hitler or Adolph Mandela.

Git-R-Done!

A Twofer For Ya

2005-08-05T22:08:00.000-04:00

For some reason, I missed seeing Michelle Malkin on Fox and Friends this morning, even though I was awake the entire time and had Fox News on. Go figure. It also kinda didn't help that for the first time I can recall, she didn't mention it on her blog.

Anyhoo, lucky for me my blog neighbruhs are much more astute than I, and Cap'n Teach mentioned her appearance this morning. I did not fret though, and ya know why? 'Cause I knew that The Political Teen would have the video. Unlike me, they never drop the ball.

Now the second part of this post, is the issue of John Roberts and his wife adopting two children. No one, of any political view, should have their children dragged into the filthy mess. Don't ever mess with anyone's kids. I don't care if it's Bill Clinton, or John Kerry, Robert Byrd, George Bush or George McGovern; don't try and use any kids as a weapon or a shield or a pawn, for any reason. This applies to spouses too, unless of course the spouse (like Hillary and Te-ray-sah) willingly gets uppity and poke their noses into the fray.

But the kids are always off limits. I think adoption is a wonderful thing. I don't have any figures or statistics to give you, but I can say there are way, way, way too many kids in this world who will never know or have the love and security of a good family. All children should have that. I don't give a rat's patootie what political or religious view folks have, as long as they provide a child with a good and loving home. Roberts and his wife did this, so I say leave'em alone.

Michelle discusses it in more detail here and here.

Bob Novak Calls It Like It Is

2005-08-04T22:52:00.000-04:00

Via Michelle Malkin and The Political Teen:

It seems Conservative columnist and commentator Robert Novak got rubbed the wrong way by Jimmy Carville and walked off the set, and I can't say that I blame him. Carville is always poking his bony fingers in someones face and talking trash. I'm amazed someone hasn't whooped his sorry ass yet.

Anyhoo, what started it was Carville was saying to one fella, “He’s got to show these right wingers that he’s got a backbone, you know. It’s why the Wall Street Journal editorial page is watching you. Show ‘em that you’re tough.”

To that, Novak replied, “That’s bullshit”.

A few moments later, Novak got up, and walked off the set. Now, he's been suspended indefinitely from CNN. Personally, I don't have a problem with profanity whatsoever, unless it's around children and/or taking the L-rd's name in vain. Now what I am a bit curious about, is why he walked off. Did someone say something to him through the earpiece? Or did he make the decision to get up and leave? Hard to say.

Personally, I'm hoping it was his decision, as he was about to knock the ever loving shit outta that snakefaced, fork tongued heathen Carville. But that's just wishful thinking on my part, I reckon.

Regardless, I salute Mr. Novak and I hope the lefties at Communist News Network don't try and crucify him for being human.

MoeBetta Grilled Cheese

2005-08-04T21:58:00.000-04:00

As with most bachelors, I have an often poorly stocked fridge and pantry, and find new ways to fancy up traditional humdrum foods. Tonight, I did just that, with a grilled cheese sandwich. (It ain't a sammich 'til it's sloppy)

Try this next time ya get bored and hanker for a snack:

Two slices of bread (of course)

One slice of American cheese, and one slice of pepperjack (jalapeno cheese)

Put either slice down, then cover it with a leaf or two of lettuce, then place a few dill pickles (hamburger chips work good), then place other slice of cheese on top.

Press sandwich together, then add your choice of butter or margarine on the bread, and slap it on the griddle.

I gotta say, I had no idea how it would turn out, but it wasn't bad at all. Everyone's tastes differ, but give it a try sometime. You might just like it.

Next time I'm gonna try it with four slices of cheese. I have a new pack of gouda cheese too. Now if only I had some 'maters and onions....

Lib Logic (Or Lack Of)

2005-08-04T10:05:00.000-04:00

I strolled over to Gun Trash's a little while ago, and found his thoughts about this piece of tripe.

No doubt this was written by one of those "intellectuals" who has more diplomas than common sense.

Next thing ya know, they'll be blaming Santy Claus for "global warming" and trying to convince us that mimes are cool.

MoeBetta Headlines 08/04/05

2005-08-04T03:50:00.000-04:00

Why Do Men Have Nipples?

So queers can feel like chicks too

Woman posed as princess, pleads guilty to fraud

Queen Latifa calls her a "wannabe"

Jimi Hendrix played gay to leave US Army-book

"Played"?

Bus driver scared of making whoopee...

Ralph claims Alice makes him shrink like a frightened turtle

Eleven holes-in-one in a single round...

A typical sleepover at Paris Hilton's pad

Move over, 'Monologues': penis takes stage

Many still unable to accept Leno in place of Carson

My lips are sealed...

The question was, "what phrase will one never hear Paris Hilton utter?"

Smelly fungus sparks police hunt for corpse

Remnants of Michael Moore's footbath and loofah sponge confuse cadaver dogs

Golf Outing Allegedly Involves Strippers

Ya got clubs, balls, holes, tacky clothes and lying old men..sounds like every strip club I've ever been to

Cops: Man Invents Story to Make Wife Leave

What man doesn't?

Police Search for Thief With Big Nose

Bill Clinton refuses to submit to police lineup

Mo. Family Finds Python Under Dishwasher

Monty jumps out, farts twice and dashes out front door, singing theme to "Pirates of Penzance"

Hugh Hefner Gets Into Bed With Reality TV

Hefner finally finds someone/thing he hasn't been in bed with

David Beckham Gets Damages From Newspaper

Posh Spice rolls up paper and hits him on nose, says "No!"

Bahrain Future Home For Jackson?

One can only hope

Postal Reform a Major Issue in Japan

Newman once again suggests his rickshaw idea

As always, more headlines funnies can be found at:

basil's blog
moehawk's
Dane Bramage
The Capitalist

Just Killin' Time

2005-08-01T15:42:00.000-04:00

I was poking around my MySpace whatchamacallit this morning, and noticed they had a games section. The one I liked best was Navy Battles. This is a fun little game, and quite addictive.

It's a variation of the classic Battleship. In this one, ya have sound effects, and air strikes, guided torpedos and missile strikes. Pretty coo'.

MoeBetta Headlines 07/31/05

2005-07-31T22:19:00.000-04:00

Woman Claims Buttocks Burned on the Toilet

Fish don't fry in the kitchen, buns don't burn on the...

Man Allegedly Steals Hundreds of Undies

Cap'n Teach devastated at drop in thong sales, seeks new fetish

Georgia Theater Drops Play About KKK Rally

Cousin Red stuck with four tickets, demands restitution

Train Driver Fired for Drunk Driving

Authorities knew something was wrong when they saw him swerving

Boy Who Vanished From Yankee Stadium Found

Was found sleeping under a desk like you know who

In Illinois, Severe Drought Shrivels Corn Crops

And too much water causes shrinkage

Muslim Scholars Condemn Terror

Yeah, sure, and I don't like chicken sammiches

Dolly Parton gearing up for tour, album

Yay!

Elton John to perform outside Colosseum

Where are the lions when we need'em?

More headlines can be found at:

basil's blog
moehawk
Dane Bramage
The Capitalist

It Is A Time For Comfort

2005-07-31T08:33:00.000-04:00

By Rabbi Meir Kahane, Zt"l
5 Cheshvan 5743 (October 22, 1982)

Seven years ago, in the midst of Jewish hysteria over blatant anti-Israel and anti-Jewish positions in the UN and the general world community, I wrote the following article. Nothing has changed, except that Jews have grown more hysterical and have, apparently, learned nothing. That is why the article is so relevant and urgent:

There is a great wailing in the streets and a gnashing of teeth and a shouting of incantations. There is a wringing of hands and the anger is mixed with depression and nervousness. The Jew is upset because the gentile refuses to accept him, insists upon hating him, keeps him a pariah. The Jew is upset because the nations of the world - the United Nations - lash him, brand him as racist and evil, hate him and openly demonstrate their desire to destroy him. Foolish Jew:

"Foolish people and not wise" (Dvarim 32:6). Foolish for seeking relief from other gentiles, for not understanding that the condemnation in the United Nations and the increasing isolation of the Jewish people is a blessing and not a curse and a sign of the sure coming of the final redemption, whose beginnings are so obvious to all but those who will not see. Yes, that which the ignorant and the gentilized and the little men of little faith find as cause for anguish - the Jew of faith and trust and knowledge sees as a time for comfort. Our rabbis tell us:

Rabban Gamliel, Rabbi Elazar Ben Azarya, Rabbi Yehoshua and Rabbi Akiva went up to Jerusalem (after the destruction of the Temple). When they reached Mount Scopus, they rent their garments (since they saw the Temple despoiled). When they reached the area of the Temple Mount, they saw a jackal run out of the site where once the Holy of Holies had been. They began to weep, except for Rabbi Akiva, who laughed. They asked him why he laughed and he asked them why they wept. They said to him, "This is the place concerning which the Torah says, and the stranger who enters it shall die and now a jackal runs through it - shall we not weep?" And he replied, "This is exactly why I laugh, for it says (Isaiah 8), And I shall call as faithful witnesses, Uriah the priest and Zecharia the son of Yovarchiyahu. What connection is there between these two - did not Uriah live during the days of the First Temple and Zecharia during the Second Temple? But the answer is that the prophecy was tied to that of Zecharia. Uriah said, Therefore, because of you, Zion shall be ploughed over as a field. And Zechana said, There shall yet come a day when old men and old women will dwell in the streets of Jerusalem... and the streets of the city will be full of boys and girls playing in the streets. Until I saw that the prophecy of Uriah was unfulfilled, I feared that that of Zecharia would not be either. Now that I have seen the fulfillment of the words of Uriah, I know for certain that the prophecy of Zecharia will come true." And hearing this, in this language did the rabbis respond: "Akiva, you have comforted us ..."

There is rhyme and reason, direction and purpose to history and the Jew has a clear and direct place within that history, direct and central for he is the tool of the L-rd, G-d of history, the central player in the drama. The title of the drama? The motif and theme of world history? The knowledge of the L-rd recognition of Him as the true and only G-d before whom all mankind must bow.

When Moses, our teacher, appeared for the first time before Pharaoh, the mighty emperor and sovereign of the ancient world, he cried out that the L-rd demanded that Pharaoh let the Children of Israel go and worship Him. And the mighty Pharaoh, powerful and arrogant, replied, "Who is the L-rd that I should hearken unto His voice to let Israel go? I know not the L-rd and I will not let Israel go."

The theme was sounded, the battle joined - the struggle by the L-rd and His chosen people, Israel, to have the world and the nations therein "know the L-rd" and recognize His kingship, the counter struggle by the nations and their refusal mouthed so arrogantly in the words "I know not the L-rd ... ' The history of man revolves about that struggle and about the efforts of the nations that know not the L-rd to destroy and humiliate His people. Persecution and humiliation of the Jew is the necessary consequence of contempt for any refusal to know their G-d, the L-rd.

And the greater the contempt for the L-rd, the greater the humiliation and isolation of the Jewish people. And the final redemption, the great moment of salvation and liberation of the Jewish people, the time of the Messiah, is tied irrevocably to the time when the entire world rejects the L-rd, proclaims as never before, "we know not the L-rd, " and turns fully and totally on His people Israel as the tangible symbol of their hatred and rejection of Him. It is at that moment when the whole world turns upon the Jews, at the time when travail and tragedy unparalleled in Jewish history beset us, when the Jew faces hopelessness and utter isolation, when he stands alone before an entire hating world, when the words of the Law ring true, "lo, it is a people that shall dwell in isolation," that we are assured that the final redemption is upon us. The promise of the terrible hatred and isolation is the guarantee that we approach the era of the final redemption. Listen:

"Therefore, son of man, prophesy and say unto Gog: Thus saith the L-rd G-d...In that day when My people Israel dwelleth safely, shalt thou not know it? And thou shalt come from out of the uttermost parts of the north, thou and many people with thee, all of them riding upon horses, a great company and mighty army. And thou shalt come up against My people Israel as a cloud to cover the land; it shall be in the end of days, and I will bring thee against My land, that the nations may know Me... And I will call for a sword against him throughout all my mountains ... and I will judge against him with pestilence and with blood; and I will cause to rain upon him and upon his lands and upon the many peoples that are with him, an overflowing torrent, and great hailstones, fire and brimstone. Thus will I magnify Myself and sanctify Myself and will make myself known in the eyes of many nations and they shall know that I am the L-rd." (Ezekiel 38:14-23).

The banding together by the nations of the world against Israel is the guarantee that their time of destruction is near and the final redemption of the Jew at hand. You weep when the nations call Zionism "racist"? You tremble when the cantata of the nations omits the words: "Behold, He that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep"? I do not weep; I laugh and am comforted. For until I saw that the prophecy of the hatred of Gog was unfulfilled, I feared that his destruction would not be either. Now that I see the fulfillment of the hatred, I know for certain that the redemption of the Jew approaches.

Enough weeping and wailing and the following of leaders and rabbis who are pygmies of little faith and less understanding. Cease the wailing and shout forth the words of the mighty Sweet Singer of Israel, David the King:

"O G-d, keep not Thou silence. Hold not Thy peace and be not still, O G-d. For lo, Thine enemies are in an uproar and they that hate Thee have lifted their heads. They hold crafty counsel against Thy people ... They have said, Come and let us cut them off from being a nation, that the name of Israel may no longer be remembered ... The Tents of Edom and the Ishmaelites, Moab and the Hagerites, Gebal and Ammon and Amalek ... To pursue them with Thy tempest and afright them with Thy storm. Fill their faces with shame, yea let them be abashed and perish that they may know that it is Thou alone whose name is the L-rd, and most high over all the earth." (Psalms 83)

Sing, O Israel, and gird your loins and flex your muscles and have faith in the L-rd, G-d of History. Come home to Zion and flaunt, and on that day will the L-rd be One and His name One. Comfort ye, confort ye my people.

I Have Rights! (So Say The Criminals)

2005-07-30T23:34:00.000-04:00

I was reading this excellent post by Don Surber last night, and felt you should read it too. It's not long, but it hits the nail on the head.

You ever notice that the only people who ever say "I have rights", are the truly guilty? Ever notice that? When is the last time you heard an honest and/or innocent man speak of his "rights"? You haven't. Only the guilty criminals and lowlife filth feel the need to speak of it.

Personally, I would have killed "mohammed" graveyard dead where he stood, but that's just me. No rights for muslims. They desire death, and that is just what they deserve.

But what is the reality? Lifetime in prison? That's our idea of punishment. Feed them, clothe them, house them, and give them free health care for the rest of their natural life (at the taxpayers expense)....shit, that's 100 times better than anything they could hope to have in their miserable lives now. Yeah, good punishment.

If the Western world refuses to do what must be done, and insists on mollycoddling and sucking the muslim world off and being "fair" with these heathens, I guess locking them up is better than nothing at all.

Sci-Fi Fight Poll

2005-07-29T23:53:00.000-04:00

The results of the poll were:

In a bare knuckle, no rules cage match, who'd be standing when it's all over?

Captain Kirk (18) 90%
Han Solo (1) 5%
Buck Rogers (0) 0%
Flash Gordon (1) 5%

It seems most agree, it's Kirk. He was my choice. Afterall, he's a farmboy and a brawler. What he lacks in booksmarts, he makes up for in his fists, plus he's got the famous "flying kick". Ya can't beat that.

Now Han Solo, in my opinion, is no kind of bare knuckle fighter. Without his laser blaster and Chewbacca by his side, he's got nothing. Nowhere in any of the Star Wars films he was in, did we ever see him get physical.

Buck Rogers (Gil Gerard version) is fairly scrappy, but he's too smart and polished to win a real fight. He would whoop Solo, but that's it.

Flash Gordon (Sam Jones version) is pretty tough. This match would be down to him and Kirk, and I think Kirk would stomp him like a bucket of grapes.

Now, Dane Bramage brought up a good point awhile back, that I had overlooked when I made the poll. He reminded me that super tough guy Buster Crabbe also played the role of Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon. Now in those versions..hmm...I'd hate make a bet on it. That could wind up either way. For loyalty's sake, I'm gonna still say Kirk would win, but not by much. That'd be a helluva good fight.

Your thoughts?

I Need A Barf Bag

2005-07-28T21:55:00.000-04:00

Via Michelle Malkin, I stumbled upon this nasty piece.

I've heard the phrase "letting your hair down" and "letting it all hang out", but I'm pretty sure this isn't what was meant by it. These hippy broads let their armpit hair down too. I bet ya can't tell which one are men and which are women. Especially pic number 3. That's a creepy enigma, right there. I keep thinking of the old SNL skit "It's Pat!".

Me thinks these hippy heathens should consider buying The Bro.

Oh, btw, those Berkeley pics ain't work safe. Maybe I should have mentioned earlier? ;)

MoeBetta Headlines 07/27/05

2005-07-27T19:47:00.000-04:00

Kenyan Offers 40 Goats for Chelsea Clinton's Hand

Clinton declines, but offers Kenyan 40 acres and a mule to take Shrillary instead

Farmer killed by falling cow

Innocent rural game of "cow tipping" takes sad turn when Rosie O'Donnell visits the midwest

Noisy school kids have mouths taped

Michael Jackson doesn't like screamers

Jewish militants put death curse on Sharon?

Hell yeah! I mean...forget I said anything

Lab to test 'sasquatch' hair

Michael Moore finally gets a haircut and a shave

Rare island birds threatened by 'super mice'

Mighty Mouse says those damned crows have been talking trash for over 50 years

Who wouldn't fall for such a clever trick?

Me

Kenyan Holding a Torch for Chelsea Clinton

Whole world holds torches for her mama. You bring the stake, I'll bring the oil and firewood.

Skunk Beats the N.Y. Heat in Drug Store

Ahh, so that's where Bloomberg's been hiding

Cops Find Nude Man Looking for Gump's Home

Run Forrest, run!!

Woman Convicted of Groping Screener

Tit for tat

Dead Anchovies Leave Putrid Stink in Ore.

Oh sure, blame the anchovies

Scouts Did Not Follow Protocol for Tents

How many ways can there be to pitch a tent?

Van Gogh Killer to Spend Life in Prison

Ooooooh, that'll teach him

More headlines can be found at:

basil's blog
moehawk
Dane Bramage
The Capitalist

A.W.O.L.

2005-07-27T14:33:00.000-04:00

I know you've been checking milk cartons looking for me this past week, but unfortunately for you, I ain't officially missing or dead (yet).

I've had a bad illness in the family, and am in the midst of moving and finding a new job, so that's kinda kept me occupied. Posting will be lighter than usual for the next few months or so, so bear with me.

Idiot Test

2005-07-21T14:58:00.000-04:00

I am 27% Idiot.

I ain't too bright. But all those other idiots annoy the hell out of me. I may not be the brightest bulb in the bunch, but at least I know my limits.

Take the
Idiot Test
@ FualiDotCom

Hmph.

Hippie Test

2005-07-21T14:44:00.000-04:00

Via Don Surber

I am 12% Hippie.

What? Am I a Republican? Why did I even bother taken this test?! I guess I’ll back to my George W. Bush fan club and tell them I just wasted 10 minutes of my life. At least I don’t stink, man.

Take the
Hippie Test
@ FualiDotCom

12%? I don't think so, Bubba. ;)

Liars

2005-07-21T13:40:00.000-04:00

I was reading a post Jack Lewis made this morning, and it got me to thinking. What reasons could there be not to allow a qur'an in a civilized courtroom? How does the "religion of peace" look upon lies and deceptions ? Well, it says:

Bukhari:V7B67N427 “The Prophet said, ‘If I take an oath and later find something else better than that, then I do what is better and expiate my oath.’”

Qur’an 9:3 “Allah and His Messenger dissolve obligations.”

Qur’an 66:1 “Allah has already sanctioned for you the dissolution of your vows.”

Bukhari:V4B52N268 “Allah’s Apostle said, ‘War is deceit.’”

Qur’an 4:142 “Surely the hypocrites strive to deceive Allah. He shall retaliate by deceiving them.”

Bukhari:V7B71N661 “Magic was worked on Allah’s Apostle and he was bewitched so that he began to imagine doing things which in fact, he had not done.”

Bukhari:V6B60N8 “Umar said, ‘Our best Qur’an reciter is Ubai. And in spite of this, we leave out some of his statements because Allah’s Apostle himself said, “Whatever verse or revelation We abrogate or cause to be forgotten We bring a better one.”

Qur’an 33:11 “In that situation the Believers were sorely tried and shaken as by a tremendous shaking. And behold! The Hypocrites and those in whose hearts is a disease said: ‘Allah and His Messenger promised us nothing but delusion; they have promised only to deceive us.”

Qur’an 33:14 “Say: Flight will not avail you if you flee from death, killing, or slaughter. In that case you will not be allowed to enjoy yourselves but a little while. Say, ‘Who will screen you, saving you from Allah if he intends to harm and injure you?’”

Qur’an 33:21 “You have in (Muhammad) the Messenger of Allah a beautiful pattern of conduct for any one to follow.”

Qur’an 74:31 “We have appointed nineteen angels to be the wardens of the Hell Fire. We made a stumbling-block for those who disbelieve and We have fixed their number as a
trial for unbelievers in order that the people of the Book may arrive with certainty, and that no doubts may be left for the people of the Book, those in whose hearts is a disease. And for those to whom the Scripture Book has been given, and the believers, there should be no doubt. The unbelievers may say, ‘What does the Lord intend by this?’ The Lord will lead astray whomever He pleases, and He will guide whomever He pleases: and none can know the armies of your Lord except He, and this is no other than a warning to mankind.”

Qur’an 74:52 “Each one of them wants to be given scrolls of revelation spread out! No! By no means! Nay, this is an admonishment. Let them keep it in remembrance! But they will not heed unless the Lord wants them to. He is the fountain of fear.”

Bukhari:V2B24N555 “I heard the Prophet say, ‘Allah hates for you for asking too many questions.’”

Qur’an 89:5 “There surely is an oath for thinking man.”

Qur’an 92:8 “We will make smooth for him the path to misery.”

Ishaq:519 “Hajjaj said to the Apostle, ‘I have money scattered among the Meccan merchants, so give me permission to go and get it.’ Having got Muhammad’s permission, he said, ‘I must tell lies.’ The Apostle said, ‘Tell them.’”

Qur’an 8:58 “If you apprehend treachery from a people with whom you have a treaty, retaliate by breaking off relations with them.”

Qur’an 47:24 “Do they not understand the Qur’an? Nay, on the hearts there are locks preventing them from understanding.”

Ishaq:548 “By Allah, the black mass has spread. Abu Bakr said, ‘There is not much honesty among people nowadays.’”

Qur’an 5:41 “Whomever Allah wants to deceive you cannot help. Allah does not want them to know the truth because he intends to disgrace them and then torture them.”

Qur’an 5:101 “Believers! Do not ask questions about things which if made plain and declared to you, may vex you, causing you trouble.”

Qur’an 5:102 “Some people before you did ask such questions, and on that account they lost their faith and became disbelievers.”

Ishaq:567 “Muhammad informed Umar [the second Caliph], and he called the Prophet a liar.”

Tabari IX:36/Ishaq:596 “‘Prophet, this group of Ansar have a grudge against you for what you did with the booty and how you divided it among you own people.’ ‘Ansar, what is this talk I hear from you? What is the grudge you harbor against me? Do you think ill of me? Did I not come to you when you were erring and needy, and then made rich by Allah?’ ‘You came to us discredited, when your message was rejected by the Quraysh, and we believed you. You were forsaken and deserted and we assisted you. You were a fugitive and we took you in, sheltering you. You were poor and in need, and we comforted you.”

Bukhari:V6B60N662 “Allah’s Apostle said, ‘Some eloquent speech is as effective as magic.’”

Tabari VI:110 “When Muhammad brought a revelation from Allah canceling what Satan had cast on the tongue of His Prophet, the Quraysh said, ‘Muhammad has repented of [reneged on] what he said concerning the position of our gods with Allah. He has altered [the bargain] and brought something else.’ Those two phrases which Satan had cast on Muhammad’s tongue of were in the mouth of every polytheist. The Messenger said, ‘I have fabricated things against Allah and have imputed to Him words which He has not spoken.’”

Qur’an 40:32 “O my People! I fear a Day when there will be mutual wailing. No one shall defend you against Allah. Any whom Allah causes to err, there is no guide. That is how Allah leads the skeptic astray.”

Ishaq:248 “Allah has sealed their hearts and their hearing, blinding them so that they will never find guidance. And that is because they have declared you a liar and they do not believe in what has come down from their Lord to you even though they believe in all that came down before you. For opposing you they will have an awful punishment.”

Qur’an 2:6 “As for the disbelievers, it is the same whether you warn them or not; they will not believe. Allah has set a seal upon their hearts, upon their hearing, and a covering over their eyes. There is a great torment for them.”

Qur’an 2:9 “They deceive Allah and those who believe, but they only deceive themselves, and realize (it) not! In their hearts is a disease; and Allah has increased their disease. Grievous is the painful doom they (incur) because they (lie).”

Qur’an 8:18 “This and surely; Allah weakens the deceitful plots of unbelieving infidels.”

Qur’an 8:30 “Remember how the unbelievers plotted against you (Muhammad). They plotted, and Allah too had arranged a plot; but Allah is the best schemer.”

Ishaq:323 “I am the best of plotters. I deceived them with My guile so that I delivered you from them.”

Qur’an 8:49 “When the hypocrites and those in whose hearts is a disease said: ‘The religion has deceived and misled them.’”

Qur’an 8:71 “If they try to deceive you, remember they have deceived Allah before.”

Tabari VII:85/Ishaq:363 “The Jews of the Qaynuqa replied, ‘Muhammad, do you think that we are like your people? Do not be deluded by the fact that you met a people with no knowledge and you made good use of your opportunity.’”

Ishaq:365/Tabari VII:94 “Muhammad bin Maslamah said, ‘O Messenger, we shall have to tell lies.’ ‘Say what you like,’ Muhammad replied. ‘You are absolved, free to say whatever you must.’”

Bukhari:V5B59N369 “Allah’s Apostle said, ‘Who is willing to kill Ka’b bin Ashraf who has hurt Allah and His Apostle?’ Thereupon Muhammad bin Maslamah got up saying, ‘O Allah’s Apostle! Would you like me to kill him?’ The Prophet said, ‘Yes,’ Maslamah said, ‘Then allow me to say false things in order to deceive him.’ The Prophet said, ‘You may say such things.’”

Qur’an 61:5 “Moses said: ‘O my people, why do you annoy and insult me, when you well know I am Allah’s Messenger?’ Then when they turned away, Allah caused them to be deceived.”

Bukhari:V4B52N233 “Allah’s Apostle forbade the people to travel to a hostile country carrying copies of the Qur’an. [He said:] Unbelievers will never understand our signs and revelations.”

Ishaq:248 “Allah increases their sickness. A tormented doom awaits the Jews. Allah said, ‘They are mischief makers. They are fools. The Jews deny the truth and contradict what the Apostle has brought. I will mock them and let them continue to wander blindly.’”

Bukhari:V4B52N147 “Allah’s Apostle said, ‘A man may seem as if he were practicing the deeds of Paradise while in fact he is from the people of Hell.’”

Qur’an 13:27 “Say, ‘God leads whosoever He wills astray.’”

Ishaq:383 “One of the young men’s fathers confronted Muhammad and said, ‘You have robbed my son of his life by your deception and brought great sorrow to me.’”

Qur’an 3:24 “They have been deceived by the lies they have themselves fabricated; their religion has deceived them.”

Ishaq:397 “Then Allah said, ‘It is not for any prophet to deceive.”

Ishaq:442 “By Muhammad’s order we beguiled them.”

Tabari VIII:23 “The Messenger and his Companions continued in the fear and distress that Allah has described in the Qur’an. Then Nu’aym came to the Prophet. ‘I ‘ve become a Muslim, but my tribe does not know of my Islam; so command me whatever you will.’ Muhammad said, ‘Make them abandon each other if you can so that they will leave us; for war is deception.’”

Ishaq:496 “‘By Allah you lie,’ one said to another. ‘Liar yourself!’ ‘You are a disaffected person arguing on behalf of the diseased.”

Bukhari:V4B53N408 “When the Prophet wanted to perform the Umrah, the Quraysh stipulated that he could not preach (Islam). So Ali started writing a treaty. ‘This is what Muhammad, Apostle of Allah, has agreed to.’ The (Meccans) said, ‘If we believed that you were the Apostle of Allah we would have followed you. So write, ‘This is what Muhammad bin Abdallah has agreed to.’ The Apostle could not write, so he asked Ali to erase the expression: ‘Apostle of Allah.’ On that Ali said, ‘I will never erase it.’ Muhammad said, ‘Let me see the paper.’ The Prophet
erased the expression with his own hand.”

Gee, what a wonderful "religion". Sure, let's bring that beautiful book into our civilized courts. Look how much we can learn from their magnificent "culture"!

Vile beasts.

You can find much more info at the excellent website of Craig Winn.

Screw Provocation, Let's Nuke The Sons of Bitches Now

2005-07-18T21:43:00.000-04:00

Finally, there's someone in Washington DC (Deviants of Carnalism) that seems to have a fairly good head on his shoulders. Rep Tom Tancredo said today that America should nuke Mecca if those subhuman, verminous, moon worshipping throat slitters detonate a nuke on American soil.

Why wait?

Let's do it now. Screw politicians and lawyers and diplomats. They are why we are in this mess to begin with. All their college educated bullshit diplomacy, and negotiations, and pacifism. Let's kill the godforsaken lawyers and their cohorts while we're at it.

I think the muslim world would be much prettier when it's turned to glass.

What Number Are You?

2005-07-18T19:50:00.000-04:00

You Are the Reformer

1

You're a responsible person - with a clear sense of right and wrong.

High standards are important to you, and you do everything to meet them.

You are your own worst critic, feeling ashamed if you're not perfect.

You have the highest integrity, and people expect you to be fair.

What number are you?

Quite true.

Canuck Sammich

2005-07-18T18:07:00.000-04:00

No, this ain't about a Canadian porn film. It's about ice cream.

Ever since I was a kid, I always loved the ice cream sandwich. It's my favorite ice cream just before a Nutty Buddy. But I have now learned that a Canadian company called Chapman's make ice cream sandwiches too, and even have one called a Li'l Sammich.

I'd buy a pack of these just for the name alone. :)

How White Trash Are You?

2005-07-18T16:32:00.000-04:00

Heh, indeed.

Religion Test

2005-07-18T15:20:00.000-04:00

The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.

Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.

1. Orthodox Judaism (100%)
2. Islam (95%)
3. Reform Judaism (87%)
4. Sikhism (85%)
5. Baha'i Faith (73%)
6. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (64%)
7. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (62%)
8. Eastern Orthodox (57%)
9. Roman Catholic (57%)
10. Jainism (56%)
11. Jehovah's Witness (54%)
12. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (53%)
13. Hinduism (53%)
14. Liberal Quakers (48%)
15. Seventh Day Adventist (47%)
16. Orthodox Quaker (44%)
17. Mahayana Buddhism (40%)
18. Unitarian Universalism (38%)
19. New Thought (37%)
20. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (32%)
21. Theravada Buddhism (31%)
22. Scientology (31%)
23. Neo-Pagan (28%)
24. Nontheist (26%)
25. New Age (21%)
26. Taoism (12%)
27. Secular Humanism (9%)

Git-r-done!

Priceless

2005-07-18T13:30:00.000-04:00

Airfare to Cancun-$700
Food and fare-$500
Booze-$1500

Having your picture posted on a Fox News story while you sleep with your hand down your britches- Priceless!

The Ghost of Patton

2005-07-17T21:29:00.000-04:00

I have a little video for ya now. Though the message is a bit too left-wing and passive for me, I still think it's nice.

And just in case my words confuse you---I think Joe McCarthy and General MacArthur were too liberal. To me, anyway. They had too much pity and mercy on the enemy, for my tastes. Though, I admire the men, nonetheless.

If I could have things my way, there'd be not a shred of evidence on any square inch of G-d's Earth, that islam ever existed. Every man, woman and child among them, every qu'ran, every mosque, every mosaic "art" work, every single thing created and owned by anyone who adhered to islam, would be erased.

You can pretend to act "shocked" at my words all you want, but you know my way is best. The only thing "cheek turning" and forgiveness gets you with these savage animals, is dead.

Don't seek my tears or pity when you call me a "bigot", then march right into the jaws of death. I cannot and will not pity the stupid.

Doggy Style

2005-07-17T16:19:00.000-04:00

When ya see dancing this good, ya just gotta share it.

Though after watching it a couple times, I'm wondering who trained who.

Learn To Dance

2005-07-17T15:59:00.000-04:00

Indeed.

Obey The Cooter

2005-07-16T01:51:00.000-04:00

It seems Ben Jones (AKA Cooter Davenport) is less than thrilled with the new 'Dukes of Hazzard' movie.

I can't say that I blame him. I ain't a prude neither, but Hollyweird ought not be using so much sex and foul language to try and push their remake of a classic family show. And yes, 'Dukes' was a family show, whether one realizes it or not. I can't think of an episode where there was even a "damn" said. Aside from Daisy in her shorty-short shorts (AKA Daisy Dukes) there was very little in the show that even the most prudish person could find fault with.

Every single episode ended with a strong moral lesson to the story. Tell me how often you can see that in modern shows. You can't. Well, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' is pretty dadgummed good, and always contains a wonderful message too.

Ok, aside from those two shows, you can't cite me one.

I had intended to see the new 'Dukes' flick next month, but now I won't. I will watch it some day, after it's on video, but I am not gonna spend $8 of my money to line the pockets of the Hollyweird heathens who made it. It's a matter of principle, and I'm gonna trust Ben Jones on this one.

Afterall, he's Cooter. And what real man don't love Cooter?

Why Blog?

2005-07-14T18:49:00.000-04:00

So, I'm ~~snooping~~ browsing around over at basil's a little while ago, and noticed he had supper on the table. It was there I found my way to the blog of Danny Carlton (AKA Jack Lewis). Danny is making a compilation of bloggers and their reasons for blogging, plus a few questions such as how often ya post, how much research ya put into each post, etc.

As he puts it:

The ultimate purpose of this survey is to analyze the difference between those who have well read or growing blogs and those who don't, but want to. There is a lot of advice about how to blog successfully, but so far I haven't really seen any thorough analysis of the blogging habits of the various bloggers. The more bloggers who participate, the more accurate the survey will be so encourage others to fill out the survey.

And you know I'm always game for questions and quizzes, so I took it. I'm very interested in the results when it's finished. So, if ya got a blog and a few minutes to spare, howsabout ease on over and take the survey.

Revenge- The Jewish Approach

2005-07-14T04:07:00.000-04:00

By Rabbi Meir Kahane, Zt"l
(The Jewish Idea, Chapter 12)

Love has its place, as does hate. Peace has its place, as does war. Mercy has its place, as do cruelty and revenge. The Torah dons sackcloth over the distortion of the concept of revenge, which has become a target for the arrows of all Jewish Hellenists and worshippers of the alien culture, as if revenge were negative and evil by nature.

The very opposite is true! No trait is more justified than revenge in the right time and place. G-d, Himself, is called NOKEM, Avenger: "The L-rd is a zealous and avenging G-d. The L-rd avenges and is full of wrath. He takes revenge on His adversaries and reserves wrath for His enemies" (Nachum 1:2). Our sages also said (Berachot 33a), "Shall we say that even revenge is great because it appears between two names of G-d? 'A G-d of vengeance is the L-rd' (Psalms 94:1). Rabbi Elazar responded, 'Indeed. Where revenge is necessary, it is a great thing.'"

"It is a great thing!" It is a great mitzvah to take the revenge of the righteous and humble the evildoer. Whoever forgoes or rejects such an opportunity is cruel, and he denies belief in G-d. As King David said (Psalms 58:11-12): The righteous man shall rejoice when he sees the vengeance. He shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked. Men shall say, "Verily there is a reward for the righteous. Verily there is a G-d Who judges on earth." This is the secret of the greatness and holiness of revenge. It explains why it is a mitzvah and why the righteous are joyous when they see it carried out. When injustice is done on earth, when the kingdom of evil takes control and stifles the righteous and the innocent, it is only natural for a person to ask G-d, "Where are You?" In a period of Divine concealment, doubt and heresy burgeon forth, as it says (Deut. 31:17), "I will hide My face from them, and they shall be devoured. Many evils and troubles shall come upon them, so that they will say on that day, 'Are not these evils come upon us because our G-d is not among us?'"

The explanation of many of the commentaries, that this verse refers to Israel's repenting, does not seem valid, for if so, why does Scripture immediately reiterate, "I will surely hide My face" (Ibid., v. 18)? Rather, the explanation is that Israel will explain the lack of G-d's presence not as His intentionally hiding His face, but as testimony, so to speak, that G-d is incapable of helping or that He does not exist, G-d forbid. The evildoer's victory is the very worst profanation of G-d's name, because it implies the defeat or impotence of G-d. Of this, King David said (Psalms 44:23-25): Nay, but for Your sake are we killed all the day. We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Awake! Why do You sleep, O L-rd? Arouse Yourself, cast us not off forever. Wherefore do You hide Your face...?" Thus, when G-d stops hiding His face and actually "awakens...like a mighty man recovering from wine, and smites His enemies" (Psalms 78:65-66), when He takes the revenge of His people and of Himself, He thereby sanctifies His name, proving to the world that Israel indeed has a G-d and that He lives and endures. The victory of injustice and wickedness is ostensible proof of G-d's absence from the world, and there is no greater profanation of G-d's name. By contrast, G-d's victory and revenge over His enemies, the evildoers, prove to the world that "verily there is a G-d Who judges on earth!" (Psalms 58:12).

Things That Make Me Tired And Chap My Ass To Boot

2005-07-14T02:24:00.000-04:00

A couple weeks ago, basil made a post about things that make him tired. It inspired me to make a list too. After all, my blog didn't get a title with "woes" in it for nothing. I love to bitch and complain. I wouldn't be happy, otherwise.

So, here is my list of gripes and aggravating nonsense that shouldn't even be allowed to happen:

*Assholes who go to a gas station (or any store), and park right up front and block the whole damned drive and walk area, then grin like a baboon as they look me in the eye and say; "It'll be a'ight , I's just runnin' right in..ain't no need to get all riled up, honkey"

*People with cell phones. I truly hate these sons of bitches. What a sickening bunch of self-absorbed bastards these schmucks are. "Oh yeah, mm hmm, I am only 17 years old, but I have a cell phone, so my phone call is important enough to cut you off in traffic and hold up the checkout line. Don't get mad at me, or else I'll roll my eyes, snap my fingers, and laugh at you for not having a cell phone ..mm hmm"

*People with SUV's. Oy gevalt, I don't know where to begin. I am all for big ass vehicles, but SUV's are shit. It's even worse when scrawny ass soccer mom's are behind the wheel.

*People who talk on cell phones, while driving. This is probably enemy number one on my list . You thoughtless, reckless, arrogant sons of whores. You should be grateful I haven't run you off the road, dragged you from your piece of shit car, and kicked your ass til you shit blood. You're big and tough with your cell phone and your lawyer on "speed-dial", ain't ya? Let's find out which is faster...your satellite signal, or my fist knocking your fucking teeth down your throat.

*People who always rely on lawyers and cops.

*People who think every other word is "racist"

*People who think some college educated asshole is more trustworthy than a Yeshiva educated Rabbi

*People who use the term "Jesus Freak"

*Anyone who defends islam

*Anyone who defends communism

*Anyone who doesn't know what a "sammich" is

*Anyone who thinks I'm weird for not owning a telephone

*Jesse Jackson

*Al Sharpton

*Barbra Streisand

*Woody Allen

*People who tell me that being a redneck and a Jew at the same time is "impossible" and is "crude and insulting"

*The ACLU

*The ADL

*France

*Holland

*Imported beer

*Immigrants that refuse to learn English

*Wal-Mart greeters that grab my ass

*Anybody what don't like Kinky Friedman

*Foreign cars

*Foreign clothes

*Foreign nations getting American welfare, knowing damn well they don't deserve it

*Democrats

*Libertarians

*Republicans

*People who call themselves "conservative", yet refuse to pray for the complete destruction of their enemies.

I may have to continue this list another time. I have many more gripes, but I hope what I have listed so far is sufficient to amuse the good folks, and infuriate the filthy heathens who know they are guilty.

Poll Topics

2005-07-13T22:55:00.000-04:00

I think about everyone knows I have a little poll on the left side of my blog. And most know I am slow to update it. It ain't ' cause I'm a slacker (I am slack, but not in this regard) but it's because I can't always think of a topic.

I'm asking for y'alls help. What kinda poll should I do during the week? I do NASCAR some weekends, and maybe an occasional political or current issue poll, but what do you, my readers, suggest?

What single question would you want to see posted and answered? (unscientifically, of course)

Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?

2005-07-13T02:54:00.000-04:00

By Rabbi Meir Kahane, Zt"l
21 Iyar 5746 (May 30, 1986)

If we would like to know the heart of the tragedy of Israel, of the Jewish-Arab struggle, of the reason why peace eludes a Jewish State that so desires it, of the cause of the ongoing suffering and tragedy, of the immutable rule that there will not be tranquility and peace for the Jew or his state, let me explain. Some time ago, an opinion poll was given to Arabs and Jews by sociology Professor Ephraim Ya'ar of Tel Aviv University. The professor gave his respondents a list of 14 factors that may or may not influence the course of peace between Israel and the Arab states, and asked each of them to rank the list in importance from one to 14. The results? The Arabs placed "the will of G-d" first; the Jews placed it last. Or another example: Yet another Tel Aviv University project was conducted by its Jaffe Center for Strategic Studies. Respondents were asked to comment on the Biblical verse, "The Guardian of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps." They were asked who, in their minds, represented the Guardian of Israel. Fifty-seven percent replied "the Israeli army" and 17% declared that it was G-d ... And that, dear Jew, is the reason and the source and the cause of a tragedy that is building up, and that, unless swift, radical change takes place in Jewish thought and action, will bring down horrors upon the Jew and his state, Heaven help us.

The truth is that the Jew has long since become the most unbelieving of all people, the most atheistic of nations. Deluded by his intelligence and intellectualism, believing that he inhabits the heavens, he turns into the most arrogant and proud of men. Like some modern-day Adam, he has eaten from the Tree of Knowledge and dreams of Divinity. Like some modern-day builder of Babel, he is convinced that he can climb to the heavens and conquer. His cleverness and brightness that so persuaded him that he is the wisest and most perceptive of men, insures that he will be the blindest and most obtuse. No people and no faith is so convinced that its destiny is essentially its own, in its own hands. None has relegated G-d to the bin of antiquity, to the shadow of irrelevance, as the Jew. There are those who are convinced that He does not exist. There are those who invent Him as a Being who, indeed, has a place, but it is conveniently limited and He had better know it. There are those who pay prodigious amounts of lip service and ritual to G-d and whose religion fills their lives as long as there is no need to place their "belief" on the line in time of danger. Few are the Jews who sincerely believe that victory in war is totally in the hands of G-d, who are prepared to take the difficult and dangerous steps their religion demands, lest they have to put their faith where their claims are.

The people that were the most religious of all have become the most indifferent to G-d. The People of the Book place more faith in that of the check than the Bible. In time of crisis, the Jew does not believe in anything, except that which he can see, touch, feel. He can see the U.S. President; he believes in him far more than in the G-d of Abraham. He can feel the Arabs; he fears them more than the intangible G-d he pays lip service to as long as there is no crisis. He can touch the tanks of the Israeli army, and so he prays that there will be enough of them instead of believing that One is enough of Him. "For My people have committed two evils; they have forsaken Me, the fountain of living water, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water" (Jeremiah 2). The truth is that we will swear our belief in the Omnipotence of the G-d of Israel as long as this remains in the abstract, in the realm of theory. We show our fervent belief in the miracles that happened YESTERDAY, but we shrink from testing them today or tomorrow. That which we need not do ourselves is easily believed in and avidly taught or sermonized. Yesterday is always smoothly dealt with - who needs to place himself on the line? Who must be tested? The belief in the GENERAL Omnipotence of G-d easily fills our hearts. It is only when we must get down to specifics, to real and actual implementation of faith in our own lives, that the hypocrisy becomes a stench which is overpowering.

The G-d of Israel is not a Santa Claus. The religion of Israel is not a plaything. If there is one thing above all that the Almighty desires of us, DEMANDS of us, it is FAITH. "Therefore, the L-rd heard and was wroth; and a fire was kindled against Jacob and anger also came up against Israel, because they believed not in G-d and trusted not in His salvation" (Psalms 78). That is the Jewish Iron Law: Belief and trust in G-d, rather than looking to and raising Jewish eyes unto the gentile. There can be no greater Hillul HaShem, desecration of the Name of G-d, than when the Jew places his faith in the power of the gentile. For what he is saying by this is that there really is no G-d; and this is the end of Judaism, and this is the end of any reason for the existence of the Jew. Jews have long sighed, " It is hard to be a Jew." As with most things, this too is a statement of hypocrisy. They do not really believe it. They really do believe that they can mold for themselves a good and happy life and at the same time gild it with a thin covering of comfortable Judaism.

Of course, it is nonsense. Of course, it really IS hard to be a Jew, the kind of Jew that the Almighty demands - the kind of Jew who is the son and daughter of Abraham, who faced the furnace for his belief and did not flinch; the kind of Jew who is the son and daughter of Mordechai, who faced the gallows and did not bow; the son and daughter of the Jew whose entire Torah rests on the one commandment: "And the righteous shall live by his faith." That is difficult. That is a Jew. King David turned, in his day, to G-d and lamented: "My G-d, my G-d, why hast Thou forsaken me?" If one listens carefully, the voice of the G-d of Israel can be heard in this era of Jewish neo-atheism, calling softly: "My people, My people, why have you forsaken ME?"

Plugging The Tuneage

2005-07-12T17:33:00.000-04:00

I was poking around The Windjammer website awhile ago, and after checking out the bikini contest chicks (giddyup!) I started browsing the bands. The Windjammer is a great bar, and is a *must* on my list of places I always visit when in Charleston. I recommend you stop by and visit them next time you're in town. Trust me, you won't regret it.

Anyhoo, they have always got great bands playing there, and Edwin McCain is the top one. Excellent artist. But I also have a strong appreciation for smaller, homegrown bands. The one on The Windjammer's schedule that caught my attention was Southern Bitch. They're a Southern Rock band out of Athens, Georgia, and pretty dadgummed good, in my opinion. I've heard of them before, but have never heard any of their music until today.

So via their site, I came across a really cool music website, called Pure Volume. This is where the unknown and up-and-coming bands and singers can get some promotion. I'm all fer it. Now my taste in music is pretty varied, but Country, Rockabilly, Classic Rock and Oldies is mostly what I listen to.

So what I'm gonna do here, is list the bands I liked out of all I listened to, and list the genre and locale. There's no sign up or downloads needed at this site. It's got a player on the page, and all ya gotta do is click play. It's pretty dadgummed coo', I tell ya. So, enjoy!

Southern Bitch-Rock / Southern Rock-- Athens, GA

The Defilers-Rockabilly / Punk / Country--Charleston, SC

American Gun-Alternative / Country--Columbia, SC

King's Heart-Jam Band / Christian / Classic Rock--Columbia SC

Daniel Harper-Acoustic / Christian / Rockabilly--Duncan, SC

Jeremy Barber-Acoustic / Rock / Rockabilly--Salem, SC

Tugalo Holler-Bluegrass--Westminster, SC

Denise Reins-Country / Alternative / Pop--Appling, GA

Eric Kilgore-Acoustic / Folk / Country--Cornelia, GA

Joey Allcorn and The Hillbilly Band-Country / Rockabilly / Alternative-- Columbus, GA

Southern Limits-Country / Southern Rock--Calhoun, GA

SouthWind-Southern Rock / Rock / Country--Waycross, GA

The Turning Point Band-Country / Rock / R&B--Columbus, GA

The Waterstone Band-Blues / Southern Rock / Classic Rock--Winder, GA

TwoBareFeet-Christian / Rock / Southern Rock--Atlanta, GA

Rosalee Stacy-Country / Christian / Indie--Jackson, KY

Arkamo Rangers-Bluegrass / Acoustic--Springfield, MO

Cooper River Bridge

2005-07-12T00:07:00.000-04:00

I dunno who knows about this, or cares, but the magnificent city of Charleston has finally completed the new Cooper River Bridge. They had some kinda hoodoo this past weekend on the new one, which El Bastardo asked me if I wanted to attend, but I was unable. The official opening ceremonies are this coming weekend, which again, I doubt I can attend.

I know I won't be at the fancy shmancy black tie affair Friday night, but maybe, just maybe, I can make it to the Saturday affair. That is, if El Bastardo stops screwing around and gets in touch with me so we can get it all sorted. I'd like to be there, 'cause this bridge is gonna be around quite awhile. I like being at groundbreaking events. Be it a new bridge dedication, the Christening of a new ship, or the opening of a new Waffle House.

WTW On A Monday (Sorta)

2005-07-11T16:53:00.000-04:00

I was sitting here browsing the Columbia traffic cams, and I just randomly clicked one of the cams on I-20, and saw this:

It just amused me so much, I had to share it with ya. Heh

UPDATE: They're working fast with this sumgun:

UPDATE 2: That big ol' wrecker getting that sucker all hooked up now. I'm sure that driver feels bad enough after dumping someones' home in the middle of the highway, but he'd feel worse if he knew some a-hole like me was spying on him and telling the whole world. Tough noogies!

UPDATE 3: Almost there!

UPDATE 4: Easy does it. Easy....

UPDATE 5: Uh oh. I think he done dumped it again:

UPDATE 6: Someone went and switched camera angles. But, it looks like he's getting it together now:

Well, that's all. The camera has changed yet again, and it's looking in a whole 'nother direction. I can't believe I spent almost an hour watching that. I'm about an Old Milwaukee away from being one of those guys who sits on his porch, and is mesmerized by a bug zapper.

Joseph Duncan- Subhuman Vermin

2005-07-11T00:35:00.000-04:00

I am gonna assume everyone knows by now, about the case of the horrible murders that took place in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho back in mid-May, where 3 people were beaten to death, and 2 children were kidnapped. The two children, 8 year-old Dylan Groene and his 9 year-old sister, Shasta, were abducted by a convicted child molestor savage, Joseph Duncan.

Shasta was found 6 weeks later with the bastard at a Denny's in the same town, thanks to a brave and sharp-eyed waitress. She told the cops what the monster did to her and her brother, who had not yet been found. Remains found last week are now sadly found to be that of Dylan's.

If that isn't enough to wrench your stomach and tear your heart out, it gets worse. This hideous monster had a blog, which he spewed his vileness out on, then tried to justify it. He has the nerve to believe he was a "Christian" and that "demons" are to blame for his actions and thoughts. His blog , Blogging the Fifth Nail, is nothing but pure evil. His words, his views, his explanations, and his defense of sex offenders, is grotesque.

Duncan's last entry is dated May 13th, not long before he butchered that innocent family. The most recent entries are sick and disturbing enough, but I have been looking at his original entries, from January 31st,2004, and onward. Creepy stuff.

His very first blog entry is simply this:

Saturday, January 31, 2004

9:08 PM
Fact: Whoever controls the media controls the country.
Question: Do you really think no one is controlling the media?
Posted by: Joe

Not exactly what I'd call original or insightful, but it gives one an idea that this guy isn't running on all cylinders. Then it begins to get disturbing with entries later on in the month:

Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Where have all the x-cons gone?
9:30 AM
The term “sex offender” is an interesting choice of words. In the past the term “x-convict” was used to describe offenders who were released from prison. The “x” obviously implying that the mistake was in the past. But States have unanimously and officially dropped the term “x-convict” and replaced it with “offender” a present tense term that implies the person was, and still is, offensive.

The term “x-convict” was suiting, since it did not indicate that a person was bad, or even guilty. It just meant that at some time in the past the person was convicted of a crime. Back then it was understood that sometimes a person could be convicted who was not guilty. And in understanding this people felt a convicts rights were important, because maybe they really were innocent. Back then, the fear of locking up an innocent man was a bigger concern than the fear of being a victim. Today, statistics have shown that we routinely lock up innocent men at an alarming percentage as high as 20% by some studies. In the good ol’ days, 1% would never have been tolerated. Sure that meant a lot of guilty people got away, but that was better than the state punishing an innocent person.

You think it is one man who suffers, but back then they saw that it was everyone who suffered. The state represented the people, so it was the people who punished an innocent man unjustly. So they saw it as a million injustices, not just one.

Today, even the innocent convicts are “offenders.” So, the injustice has been washed over by a mere change in words. So much for social integrity.
Posted by: Joe

Oh boo friggin hoo. Now, it's my fault and yours, that he can't get respect. Golly gee friggin whiz , that makes sense. Keep in mind that while he wrote these, he had already spent some years in the clanker for molesting children. He molested a little boy in Minnesota almost a year after he wrote this, then killed the family and kidnapped Dylan and Shasta just a few months later, this past May.

Now, this'll really get your goat:

Monday, January 26, 2004
Pointing Fingers
8:19 AM
What red blooded American would stick up for a sex offender? And, what Arian blooded Nazi would stick up for a Jew? If you think there is a difference, then think again. Are you thinking for yourself, or letting the media tell you what to think? If you think that sex offenders have little control over their behavior, then that is the TV thinking for you, and it is nonsense. Less than 12% of convicted sex offenders are repeat offenders. The reason you hear rates like 90% is because of the way the media uses statistics to get you to watch. Nobody would care if only 12% are repeating offenders, so instead the media reports that 90% of sex crimes are committed by repeat offenders. Which sounds more shocking? They both say the same thing; only the later has more shock value and implies a more serious problem than there is.

It is always easy to recognize someone else’s ignorance. The trick is in recognizing your own. While doing some research last night on discrimination against Jews in Nazi Germany, I discovered that the Jews suffered far more abuses, prior to the ultimate abuse of genocide, long before the ovens were even fired up. They were victims of violent discrimination all over Germany, their homes and stores were vandalized and ransacked. They themselves were frequently beat upon by gangs of angry Germans. While I had realized that obviously the Jewish fate in that era was far more sever than any that sex offenders might suffer as a distinct group, I had not realized that the discrimination against Jews prior to that final act of discrimination was so proportionally pronounced.

That opened my eyes. I can understand better now why people usually see my words as the ravings of a bias and self deluded person. So, I changed the Mission Statement for The Fifth Nail, to reflect my new understanding. I still feel that government sponsored discrimination can do no good. But, now I have added the word “watered down” when I compare discrimination against sex offenders to the discrimination against Jews in Nazi Germany, and Blacks during the Jim Crow era. It is still state sanctioned discrimination, only not as extreme as it has been in the past. But surely, when kept in proportion of course, the intent and effect is the same.

Like I’ve stated before in this blog, there is nothing wrong with letting the public know when a threat has moved into their neighborhood. There is everything wrong when the government points a crooked finger at a group of people who are themselves already victims of their own ignorance and fear, and tells the public, “this is who you should hate.”
Posted by: Joe

This piece of drek compares child molestors, to Jews and Blacks? What a filthy mongrel he is. For this reason alone, he should be killed, just for being stupid. And where does he get this idea that the government is telling people "who to hate"? All decent people hate perverts and child molestors. It's a natural and good reaction, not government sanctioned. Idiot.

I've glanced at a few entries of his,mostly recent and earliest. It's all sick. I'll get around to reading them all, if my stomach can handle it. This guy is a seriously screwed up piece of excrement.

Something almost as sick, is the fact that somewhere in this Republic, is more than a few lawyers foaming at the mouth, eager to defend this bastard and help him be released back into society again.

Sick. Sick. Sick.

UPDATE: I made an error, in the times of his blog entries. The dates are correct, but I was wrong about the order they were in. But, in double checking it all, I find his first blog entry to be more disturbing than the one I thought was his first. This is dated January 4th, 2004:

It begins
¶ 1:50 AM
Just found out that a five year old girl went missing from Chisholm MN on June 14, 2003 (this year). I did not even know until today that this happened. So, I tried to figure out what I was doing that day, since I'm always afraid of getting accused when something like this happens. According to my Quicken entries that was the day that I went to watch a couple of my co-workers jump out of an airplane (tandem jumps). I had purchased a package of depends (adult diapers) as a joke, and some 8mm tapes for my camcorder that morning. I also Went shopping that day at Cashwise and bought over a $100 worth of food, (a major grocery shopping trip) but when I checked my file for these receipts to see what time I was at Cash Wise (the grocery store) I discovered the receipts were missing. Makes me wonder. I'm going to have to look for them some more. You might say that finding out about the girl missing is the proverbial last straw. Because of all the other recent incidents in the news lately, especially regarding missing people and the resulting intensification of the persecution of sex offenders, I've decided to start this blog as a sort of check and balance of where I am. This is for my own safety. I figure it is just a matter of time before I am falsely accused of some crime or another. I already had the police at my door telling me some women down town were waving my picture around (that they printed from the internet) accusing me of harassing them for a date (a part of town I’ve never been to and women I never heard of, but the police acted as if they knew it was me). The visit was very intimidating and not friendly. I was "warned" that I was being watched as a known sex offender. The visit made me consult an attorney for advice; he told me there was nothing I could do unless charges were filed. I feel like a southern black man, just wondering when the lynch mob is going to show at my door accusing me of raping a white girl. Today (yesterday actually, right now it is 1:23 am Sunday) I stayed home mostly, played Delta Force on-line and dinked around. I went to Hornbaucker’s and bought a few groceries and some B-day cards for some friends (Dave and Dee). I got a call from my boss at 4:40. He wanted to tell me about a new technology he'd been playing around with that could make several of the projects I've been involved with simpler to implement (MS ISA). I had a chef salad for lunch and cheese and summer sausage later for a snack in leu of dinner.
Posted by: Joe

This foul beast needs killing. Pure and simple. G-d willing, he will meet the same fate in prison that Jeffrey Dahmer did. That is, if no greedy BMW driving lawyer helps him go free, first.

A Pirate's Berth-Day

2005-07-10T17:04:00.000-04:00

Today is William Teach's birthday, so mosey on over to his port and wish him ~~hell~~ well.

Here's some booty for ya, ya nasty ol' saltdog:

Apologize For What?

2005-07-10T13:50:00.000-04:00

I was reading this story on Fox News yesterday, and I am baffled. Why is Mrs. Holloway Twitty apologizing to the damned Dutch? What did she say that was "wrong"?

The Dutch "judicial" system is a joke, that's a well known fact. It is among the most asinine and timid in the world. She called it as it is. Her daughter went missing in that flyspeck of a country over a month and a half ago, and these damned forktongued foreigners ain't got jack squat done. They damn well know those three little bastards are involved, yet they refuse to hold and question all three thoroughly. Why?

They seem to be playing musical chairs with these arrests, and it is like watching a damned child play a game. Yes, that is what I see Aruba and the Dutch as--stupid little children. Then the Dutch media has the audacity to say they don't appreciate American "cowboys" trying to tell them how to govern their affairs. Well hell, someone needs to show them, 'cause these idiots couldn't find their ass with both hands.

If it were up to me, she would have been found by now if any body remained. Those boys would be tortured (yes, tortured, not interrogated) until they talked. And they would talk. Oh yes, make no mistake. I think I can speak for a helluva lot of other Americans in that regard, as well. These are little punk ass kids, not hardened expert criminals. They can be broken as easily as an eggshell. Yet they haven't, have they? And that's my point. If the Dutch can't extract information from young kids, then their system of justice is a piece of crap. Mrs. Holloway Twitty was correct and truthful in her words. So she should not have apologized.

If anyone should apologize, it's the island of Aruba and the amoral cesspool of Holland.

MoeBetta Headlines 07/10/05

2005-07-10T13:14:00.000-04:00

Japanese Man Keeps Hot Dog-Eating Crown

Will be spending a lot of time on the throne

Robbery Suspect Dresses in Drag in S.C.

No comment

Minn. Cancels 'Whorehouse Days' Festival

Feisty files discrimination charges

Man Lights Himself on Fire to Propose

Elvis fanatic wanted to be her 'hunka hunka burning love'

Is Britney Spears carrying twins?

What do ya think 50 million horndogs have been looking at for the last 5 years?

The Case of the Shrinking Lotus

He was in the pool

450 Sheep Jump to Their Deaths in Turkey

Typical muslim sheep ~~shaggers~~ herders drove them to it

Man in Toilet Episode Faces More Charges

Jumped bail and crossed state lines to get shitfaced...literally

N. Korea OKs Talks As Rice Lands in China

Filthy commies disappointed to learn that "we're sending Rice to you" wasn't what they thought

If the wine talks to you, maybe it's time to stop

If the wine talks to you, then you know it's money well spent

Woman, bull injured in Pamplona bull run

Hungry heifer went on feeding rampage, then spotted the bull..

Bail Denied for 90-Year-Old Drug Suspect

Keith Richards said to be "madder'n 'ell"

Man Accused of Stealing Keys From Sheriff

Otis Campbell denies allegations

You know what to do:
basil's blog
moehawk
Dane Bramage
Laffin at the Left

Happy Birthday, Uncle Sam!

2005-07-04T06:55:00.000-04:00

He's looking pretty good for a 229 year old.

The Star Spangled Banner

OH, Say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free, and the home of the brave!

On the shore, dimly seen thro' the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected, now shines on the stream.
'Tis the star-spangled banner; oh, long may it wave
O'er the land of the free, and the home of the brave!

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free, and the home of the brave!

Oh, thus be it ever when freemen shall stand
Between their loved homes and the war's desolation;
Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land
Praise the power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust!"
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave,
O'er the land of the free, and the home of the brave!

~Francis Scott Key~

Happy Independence Day to all. Safe travels to you and your kin, and may G-d continue to bless our glorious Republic.

Kicking Butts, Indeed

2005-07-03T21:38:00.000-04:00

I think everyone who knows me by now, also knows my buddy moehawk, and that he has quit smoking in recent weeks.

I applaud him for this. There are millions of people in this country, who are addicted to some form of narcotic or drug and don't have the strength or will power to stop. I am damned proud my left coast pal is one of the special few who possesses such fortitude and will.

Now, I am a fairly heavy drinker and smoker, but I have no intention or reason to stop. My death will come at the hand of man, long before cancer or any other ailment gets a chance to off me. This I know. So, I do smoke and chug as I salute him for his efforts.

Of course, me living in such an area of South Carolina where tobacco is a way of life, I don't see anything wrong with having a smoke in his honor, to celebrate his 2+ weeks of being tobakky free, do you?

So moehawk, my culinarily artistic friend, here's to you. And may you stay off the 'bakky wagon as long as ya can (without going total anti-smoke and trying to ban it like a teetotaller, that is).

MoeBetta Headlines 07/03/05

2005-07-03T20:57:00.000-04:00

Parents Guilty for Hiding Pot in Diaper

Nasty hippie parents confused when told to "poop or get off the pot"

Hong Kong Disney Gives Away 20K Free Tix

Estimated it'll take 100K matches to burn them all off

Barbecue Chain Buys Porn Web Site for $6G

Maurice Bessinger's new slogan: "You'll squeal like a piggie, or else"

Hairless Pooch Wins Ugly Dog Contest

On an unrelated note, Sinead O'Connor tapes are only $1.99 at the Pilot station

Top of lava dome falls into St. Helens crater

Sounds a bit like what Rosie O'Donnell's lover said after their first romp in the ~~trough~~ hay

Elephant tagging aims to solve mystery

"Will she remember me in the morning?" soon to be answered

Happy kids make for pleasant road trips

Michael Jackson agrees

Three suspects escorted to Aruba beach

This is what the Dutch call "punishment"

Newsweek: Rove spoke to reporter before leak

Did not jiggle or flush afterwards

New York tries to make yellow cabs greener

Will use Cousin Red's teeth as comparison chart

Police: Local Family Beaten In Dispute Over Car

NASCAR fans get a tad out of hand

Poll: 63% of Americans oppose pullout

Large teen pregnancy causes finally revealed

Israel plugs in the sun

Blows out fuses in 3 countries

How Ice Melts: Longstanding Mystery Solved

It's called "heat", college boy

Why You Can't Tickle Yourself

Maybe because it's illegal in 37 states, and it's just plain weird and creepy?

Panel Affirms Radiation Link to Cancer

Someone spent $100,000 of their parents money, and 8 years of their life after high school, to figure this out?

As always, you'd do well to mosey on over and visit basil,moehawk, Dane and The Capitalist for more headlines.

Fruity As A Nutcake

2005-07-03T06:39:00.000-04:00

Somedays it don't pay to get out of bed. While eating breakfast and checking out basil's blog, I stumbled across this test that was posted by The Big Sister (Who's 5'4").

Being the sucker for tests and quizzes that I am, I took it. Now I wish I hadn't.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Very High
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Very High
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

Remember; It ain't paranoia if they really are out to get ya.

MoeBetta Movie Linkage

2005-07-02T03:12:00.000-04:00

I woke up early this morning, after being lulled to sleep early last night by the sweet sounds of a wicked thunderstorm. Now I can't go back to sleep. So what do I do when I find myself in this situation? No, I don't read comic books. No, I don't watch the smut on late night Skinemax. No, I don't treat my body like an amusement park. (Shame on you for even thinking it!)

I hop online and watch movie trailers! Yay!

And because I am such an adorable, super studly (and modest) sweetheart, I'm gonna share some with ya! I'm good like that.

This first one is a flick I am really looking forward to. The brilliant producer/director Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings fame) has remade King Kong. Very cool. It doesn't hit theatres til December, but you can get a quick tease here:

King Kong

And of course, you don't wanna miss seeing America's favorite man-whore, Deuce Bigalow. I liked the first one, but this new one looks to be pretty good too.

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo

And I could never share links without including The Dukes of Hazzard. As a Dukes purist, I am crossing my fingers on this one. It looks to be really nice and well done, but it's hard for me to accept change. But, the cast is fantastic. Ya got Burt Reynolds, Willie Nelson, Jessica Simpson (Catherine Bach could take her), Gailard Sartain, Seann William Scott, and a whole bunch of others.

The Dukes Of Hazzard

I'm just gonna list some others without commentary, 'cause frankly I don't have a clue about them except they look good enough to get my attention.

Wedding Crashers

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Fantastic Four

Herbie: Fully Loaded

Deep Blue

Stealth

The Legend of Zorro

Into The Blue

I still can't get to sleep. Hmph.

You Go Vote!

2005-07-01T15:25:00.000-04:00

It seems Frank J done gone and got himself in some other contest/competition thingamajig. So, I am gonna ask my precious few readers and the vagabonds and recently released convicts who stumble upon my crappy blog, to go and vote for IMAO.

There's no prize, moolah or booty in it for ya. I'd consider it a personal favor to me. Isn't making me happy reward enough for you?

What's Your Alcohoroscope?

2005-07-01T13:02:00.000-04:00

Your Leo Drinking Style

You love to drink and dance -- you're likely a fabulous dancer.
You're usually pretty a good drinker as well, losing your commanding dignity and turning kittenish.
Of course, you're quite aware you're darling -- Leos will be Leos, after all.
You generally know your limit, probably because you loathe losing self-control.

When you get over-refreshed, flirting will ensue -- and perhaps not with the person what brought you.
But you are not the type to break rules even when drunk, so others try to ignore your naughty behavior.
You'll just make up for it with a sheepish (and hung over) apology the next day.

Your Signature Cocktails

Leos like flashy drinks, be they complicated tropical concoctions festooned with umbrellas, like a Bahama mama or the more common strawberry daiquiri or mai tai. Indeed, you often have a taste for the fruity -- try a screwdriver, or add an extra cherry to the next Manhattan. Your sense of drama lends itself to a kir royale, of course.

Your Celebrity Drinking Buddies

Edward Norton, Bill Clinton, Madonna, Debra Messing, Martha Stewart, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Christian Slater, and Fred Durst.

What's Your Alcohoroscope?

This one is wrong from start to finish. First off, I find the word "fabulous" to be namby pamby beyond belief. I do dance, but only real dances, like the Charleston, Shag, Tango, or a Waltz. None of this new age homo booty bumping monkey gyration crap.

I never have hangovers. Not ever.

I am not a "darling", and I do not like flashy drinks. Just gimme a straight whiskey, and we'll all get along just fine. I don't like anything fruity, be it a drink, dessert or my sodomite neighbor.

And as far as the "Celebrity Drinking Buddies"; oh boy. What a list I got. Aside from Ah-nold and Martha,I got paired with the crud that rests just below the gooey crap that sits on the bottom of an outhouse bucket.

Nope. Not pleased with this quiz. Not a bit. Hmph

Who's The True You?

2005-07-01T12:46:00.000-04:00

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more open with you.

With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.

You think good luck will definitely be yours, someday.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be methodical in your ways - with trouble adapting to the rules of society.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you make opportunities to interact with many people through club activities or a hobby, then select someone you like.

Who's the True You?

More lies and slander. Untruths, I tell ya!

Well, I am an extremely cheap s.o.b., I admit. I'm a little put off when the General Dollar Store won't offer coupons. Stingy corporate whores, they are.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

2005-07-01T12:29:00.000-04:00

Your Birthdate: August 21

Being born on the 21st day of the month (3 energy) is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life.

The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental.

There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, "couldn't care less" attitude.

You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression.

Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing.

You are energetic and always a good conversationalist.

You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters.

Your mind is practical and rational despite this tendency to jump about.

You are affectionate and loving, but very sensitive.

You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Lies! All Lies!

Ah screw it. I couldn't care less.

What Happened The Year You Were Born?

2005-07-01T12:17:00.000-04:00

In 1973 (the year you were born)

Richard Nixon is president of the US

Supreme Court rules in Roe vs. Wade that states may not prevent a woman from having an abortion during the first trimester

US announces the end of the military draft

Spiro T. Agnew resigns after pleading no contest to charges of tax evasion while governor of Maryland

Gerald R. Ford becomes the first appointed vice president under the 25th Amendment

A total ban on oil exports to the US for six months is imposed by Arab nations after the outbreak of an Arab-Israeli war

President Richard Nixon announces that a peace accord has been reached in Vietnam

Drea de Matteo, Tori Spelling, Carson Daly, Monica Lewinsky, and Kate Beckinsale are born

Oakland Athletics win the World Series

Miami Dolphins win Superbowl VII

Montreal Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

The Exorcist and American Graffiti are top grossing films

Elvis Presley's Aloha From Hawaii television special is seen around the world by more than 1 billion viewers

KISS performs their first concert, at the Coventary Club in Queens

"The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" by Roberta Flack wins a Grammy for song of the year

Schoolhouse Rock premieres

What Happened the Year You Were Born?

More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings

I was born in the year of the Dung Beetle. Aside from 'American Graffiti', Elvis and KISS, nothing good happened that year. (Except my birth, of course) :)

How Do People See You?

2005-07-01T12:10:00.000-04:00

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.

They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.

It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.

They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

Again, a chick? Geez Louise, just gimme a purse, smack my fanny and call me Sally, why don't ya?

I'm Bored, And You Know What That Means....

2005-07-01T11:52:00.000-04:00

No, not that. Get off your knees, you foul heathen! It means it's time for more Quiz Fun! Yay!

Now this first quiz is 'What Kind Of Blogger Are You?':

You Are a Social Blogger!

Your blog is more of a semi-private affair for your friends.
It's how you keep in touch... sharing stories, jokes, and pics.

What kind of blogger are you?

Ehh, this is accurate, I reckon, but why my pic gotta be a chick? Can't it have a cool fella in a pair of $3 shades?

Happy Birthday, Canada!

2005-07-01T02:18:00.000-04:00

Today, our socialist neighbors to the North are celebrating the birthday of their fine land. No, I'm not talking about New York or New England. I'm talking about the Canucks.

Yes, that's right, that strange nation we share an undefended border with. I admit, I don't know much about Canada itself, except that they have clean streets, free drugs, Michael Moore, and a critter called a Sasquatch what lives in the Yukon and randomly attacks American hunters and gay campers. They also love good beer, but hate guns. That confuses me.

In all seriousness though, today is Canada's 137th (or 138th?) birthday, and I'd like to wish all of'em well. Go and visit this site for a brief history of Canada Day, and edumucate yourself.

Of course, it wouldn't be proper to write or speak of a nation's holiday without honoring it's anthem. I'm a sweetheart like that. So, here is the national anthem of Canada:

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
Our True North strong and free!
From far and wide, O Canada!
We stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada!
Where pines and maples grow,
Great prairies spread and lordly rivers flow,
How dear to us thy broad domain,
From East to Western sea!
Thou land of hope for all who toil!
Thou True North strong and free!
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada!
Beneath thy shining skies
May stalwart sons and gentle maidens rise
To keep thee steadfast through the years
From East to Western sea,
Our own beloved native land,
Our True North strong and free!
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Ruler supreme,
Who hearest humble prayer,
Hold our Dominion in Thy loving care.
Help us to find, O God, in Thee
A lasting rich reward,
As waiting for the better day,
We ever stand on guard.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

That's a beautiful anthem, in my opinion. The words are very moving. Of course, in Canada, with such a large French population, they always write and print stuff in both English and French. So too, shall I respect their custom:

O Canada!
Terre de nos aïeux,
Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux!
Car ton bras sait porter l'épée,
Il sait porter la croix!
Ton histoire est une épopée
Des plus brillants exploits.
Et ta valeur, de foi trempée,
Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.

Sous l'œil de Dieu, près du fleuve géant,
Le Canadien grandit en espérant.
Il est né d'une race fière,
Béni fut son berceau.
Le ciel a marqué sa carrière
Dans ce monde nouveau.
Toujours guidé par sa lumière,
Il gardera l'honneur de son drapeau.

De son patron, précurseur du vrai Dieu,
Il porte au front l'auréole de feu.
Ennemi de la tyrannie
Mais plein de loyauté,
Il veut garder dans l'harmonie,
Sa fière liberté;
Et par l'effort de son génie,
Sur nôtre sol asseoir la vérité.

Amour sacré du trône et de l'autel,
Remplis nos coeurs de ton souffle immortel!
Parmi les races étrangères,
Notre guide est la loi:
Sachons être un peuple de frères,
Sous le joug de la foi.
Et répétons, comme nos pères,
Le cri vainqueur: "Pour le Christ et le roi."

Happy birthday, neighbors! G-d be with ya and git-r-done!

Update: When I made this post yesterday, I wrote only the first verse of the Canadian national anthem, unaware there were more verses. I was made aware of this by a Canadian blogger who stopped by this morning. Thanks for the info, Temujin, and my apologies to Canadians for this oversight.

MoeBetta Headlines 06/30/05

2005-06-30T23:49:00.000-04:00

We're going to eat out of a WHAT?

Rosie O'Donnell's ~~wife~~ sin-buddy apprehensive about Rosie's rump as "buffet table"

No beer? No lunch!

It's more than a motto, it's a way of life

Ex police chief run over by squad car

Fife to Taylor: "Here's your stinkin' pension, Andy!"

World's oldest person celebrates 115th birthday

Helen Thomas is still alive?!

Gravediggers throw party at cemetery

Oingo Boingo to headline

Tom Cruise says he believes in aliens

Says the voices in his head have never steered him wrong

Hong Kong Official Thought Bond Was Porn

Moneypenny agrees 007 is quite the cunning linguist

Bridge Club Members to Strip for Calendar

Just when ya thought nude Mahjong was disturbing

Proposal Made to Seize Souter's Property

Evil SCOTUS learns that payback is truly the ultimate bitch

Peeping Tom Pulled From Outhouse Tank

Weirdo couldn't just drill a hole in girls locker room wall like a normal pervert

Michael Jackson arrives in Bahrain to 'relax'

Filthy child molestor heard that homosexuality is allowed in the qu'ran

Judge tosses suit against soul singer James Brown

Godfather of Soul tosses it back, saying "Heeeeyyyy! Pinstriped cotton don't feel good!"

‘Great moment’ for Latin American film

'Pedro Immigrandez and the Border Crossing of Doom' becomes blockbuster summer hit

Cyndi Lauper loses bid to reduce rent

Classic pop singer says" "It's not easy being me when money changes everything. Don't let me be misunderstood, time after time I drove all night until I had a change of heart. Then I decided to just walk on by and let my true colors shine."

That's all I got right now. Swing on over and see basil, moehawk, Dane and The Capitalist (who is still AWOL) for more headline goodness.

MoeBetta Headlines 06/26/05

2005-06-26T23:44:00.000-04:00

Music Promoter Who Launched Joplin Dies

Grim Reaper took another little piece of his heart

Cruise Clashes With Lauer on 'Today' Show

Self proclaimed "psychiatrist", Cruise says "help me help you, help me help you

A Tale Of Two Hands

The life and times of Paul Reubens

Man Gets New 12-Foot Weenie

Feisty Republican Whore tells him to put up or shut up

Principal Won't Lose Job Over Racy Dance

Mr. Weatherbee, Miss Grundy caught Shagging in Miss Beasely's kitchen

Up to Your Neck in Fish and Mosquitoes

A typical day at Cousin Red's house

Dutch Princess Maxima Gives Birth to Girl

Infant will assume name of Princess Nissan in coming weeks

Ghost Fears Keep Visitors From Thailand

Thousands of Chinamen say "Phuket, this year we go to Daytona Beach"

S.Korea to Give Fertilizer to N.Korea

South Koreans decide to give the North a taste of their own medicine

Enriched Uranium Missing From Japan Plant

Kim Jong Il asks Japanese President; "Why you rook at me?"

Gene Hunters Flock to Amish Country

Hackman, Simmons attempt to hide from paparazzi with no success

Koa trees making comeback in Hawaii

Koa Kampgrounds not faring so well

Be sure to swing by and see basil, moehawk, Dane and The Capitalist for more headlines!

Shameless Filler Post

2005-06-23T19:33:00.000-04:00

Since I'm watching 'Raymond' and my brain is frazzled, I ain't got nothin' interesting or witty to say right now. But, lots of other fine folks do. So I'm gonna show ya the latest good reads from these excellent blogs.

Appalachian Gun Trash has found Michael Jackson's ex-best friend and also brings up fond memories of my hazy and jaded past.

basil says that sometimes ya get called a wingnut, and sometimes ya really is one.

Dane Bramage says he don't need the stinkin' Oscars and Academy Awards hooplah, as long as he has the Smithees .

moehawk has become a spokesman for his buddies' bidness.

The Blue Site is less than pleased with SCOTUS.

William Teach ponders the newest proposal for a flag amendment.

The Pulpit Pounder also takes issue with SCOTUS.

Oddybobo also weighs in on SCOTUS, and she and her kin built a new mailbox specifically designed for when the gummint (and Pottery Barn) decide to come'a callin'.

Now y'all go read these fine writin's while I try and catch up on some procrastinated stuff.

MoeBetta Headlines 06/21/05

2005-06-21T22:55:00.000-04:00

Cobra bites at hand that feeds it

Just like all the America-haters

Sacre bleu! Waiters fired for being French?

moehawk has no patience for frogs putting snails in his gourmet cuisine

Fergie gets her own sandwich

Chunky meat between two white buns..mmm..Fergie Sammich

Homeless Shelter Stops Serving Bear Meat

Bums say "we know what they do in the woods"

Kidman to teens: 'You're my party'

Teens all promise to come

In all their clowning glory

Uh oh, what'd the Supreme Court do now?

Paris, love, happiness, 'War'

Which of these words does not belong?

Plain, Simple, Primitive? Not the Jellyfish

Nasty little critters still have more backbone than a Democrat

Fats in Hiding

Rosie, Michael, Elton! Come out come out, wherever you arrre

What's in That Face? A Candidate's Future

What's in that terlit? The same thing

The Claim: Mosquitoes Attack Some People More Than Others

Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton decry it as "racisism"

They Find Light in the Darkness

Most usually find thumbtacks with their bare feet

Some Politics May Be Etched in the Genes

Bill Clinton's politics was in his jeans

Russia cargo ship docks with space station

Station crew confused briefly by question about "nu-clee-ar wessels"

Be sure to swing by and check out more headlines at basil's, moehawk's, Dane's and The Capitalist's!

Griddle Me This, Griddle Me That

2005-06-21T21:18:00.000-04:00

Well, moehawk has done gone and got me hungry again. Y'all all know he's a chef, and I bet he's damn near good enough to work at a high class fancy joint, like ~~Carl's Jr~~ Waffle House.

Anyhoo, he was mentioning yesterday about grilling steaks, and using a nice marinade from a ranch in his neck of the woods. That got me to thinking about our local barbeque sauce of choice, Maurice Bessinger's.

I think most states all have their own favorite brand of sauce, and I'm wondering what all y'alls is? I'd kinda like to find out what is considered the best sauce across the states.

Your suggestions?

Too Little Too Late For Dick

2005-06-21T21:01:00.000-04:00

I see that Dick Durbin has "apologized" for his remarks about "torture", and nazis, commie gulags and Pol Pot. Why? Why did he bother to do this, and why should I care?

Is he going to be executed for treasonous slander? No. Why won't he be? Don't we have a law that says that traitors who attempt to undermine the stability, security, or war efforts of our nation can be executed for said crimes? His words were potentially as damaging and demoralizing as any physical action, so shouldn't he be treated in such a way? Or have all the so-called "conservatives" become so much like Democrats, that a lame ass apology is enough to satisfy them?

It's not enough for me. All the "conservatives" can enjoy this hollow "victory", but I won't. Durbin wins because he lives. Our gummint nor our leaders have the balls anymore to actually carry out the justice they claim to believe in. If Durbin's traitorous words will be forgiven by all, because of his pathetic and insincere "apology", and he will not be forced to swing from the gallows as he deserves, then you can count me out.

Can we at least kick him out of office and lock him in prison for life? No? Why not? Trent Lott got the boot just for saying it would have been nice if Strom Thurmond (obm) had won the '48 elections. Oh, but that's right; we only have the courage to take action against politicians for slips of the tongue and tax evasion. Heaven forbid we should punish a modern Benedict Arnold, because we must permit him his "free speech", no matter how many are harmed or die because of it.

Screw it, let's just save some time and give up our sovereignty and join the European Union. It seems that's where we're heading anyway. All this touchy-feely sensitive forgiveness crap is gonna be the death of this Republic.

MoeBetta Headlines 06/20/05

2005-06-20T23:38:00.000-04:00

Man Killed At Seattle Courthouse

Finally, some swift justice being carried out

Extra! Write The News Yourself!

That's what we've been doing

Chimp’s art outsells Renoir, Warhol

Like anyone can tell the difference

What's Next for Jennifer Aniston?

Me!

Juror Attends Jackson Family Casino Bash

Says there was no Blackjack and the whole thing was a crapshoot

'P.O.V.' Spotlights Sex Education Dilemma

'P.O.S.' spotlights public education disaster

Elton John cast in chocolate

Says he's gotten out of things thicker and browner than that

Bolton's nomination blocked again in the Senate

Dems sleeping with one eye open tonight

Japanese Man, 95, Breaks Running Record

Thought he saw Jimmy Doolittle paying him another visit

Man Charged in Restaurant-Laundry Scam

Busted when he gave away fortune cookies with every dry cleaning

Car Plows Into House, Lands on Man in Bed

Man says "this is nothing, you oughta meet my wife"

Don't forget to ease on over and see basil, moehawk, Dane and The Capitalist for more headline wholesomeness!

Bill's New Babe (One Of'em)

2005-06-19T20:02:00.000-04:00

It looks like Billy boy done gone and snagged him another slice of tail. She looks better than his other indiscretions, too. She don't look like she crawled out of a trailer park:

I despise adultery, as it is a terrible sin that should be punished with death, but I hate Hillary equally as much, and if this hurts her or humiliates her, then I'm all for it. This is still a developing story on Drudge, so ease on over there from time to time and see what's going on.

Hillary used to throw ashtrays at Bill in the White House, and I'm wondering what she'll throw now? (Well, besides her infamous bitch-fits she has perfected over the last 30 years)

I almost feel sorry for Bill. Almost.

I'm Changin' My Diet

2005-06-19T06:38:00.000-04:00

I've always liked cereal, but the crapola I see on the shelves these days is unacceptable. Personally, I blame moehawk and Dane for putting these ghastly thoughts and images in my head to begin with.

I think I'll just have a big bowl of grits, thanky kindly.

Much thanks to one of my ~~subservient~~ loyal staff members for making this image for me ~~at gunpoint~~ of her own free will.

MoeBetta Headlines 06/18/05

2005-06-18T22:14:00.000-04:00

2 PETA Workers Face Cruelty Rap

Court ordered to listen to latest Busta Rhymes album

California Shaken At Both Ends

Not stirred

Retired Mechanic Finds New Flower Species

Botanical Institute dubs new flower 'Greasius Monkius'

New wool doesn't itch or shrink

99 out of 100 sheep farmers can't be wrong

Bugs Are Considered a Delicacy in Mexico

Herbie cringes

Molester Said to Leave Trail of Victims

Couldn't just leave a trail of bread crumbs

Quakes Don't Necessarily Portend Big One

moehawk ain't taking any chances

Hog-tied in Texas

Cowboys apologize for mistaking Rosie O'Donnell for wayward heifer

Strong Quake in Chile Damaged 9,235 Homes

Costs of damages could run as high as $10

Dad Guilty Of Killing His 9 Kids

Joe Jackson could learn a thing or two from this guy

Deep Throat inks book deal, Hanks to produce film

Gump remarks: "With yore deep throat and Bubba's big gums, we kin make ourselves a killin'"

Stuntmen take to the streets in Oscar protest

Big Bird, Cookie Monster, Count stick up for their stinky little buddy

Book on Bull Sells, Impolite Title and All

'Bitches, Witches, and A Bulldyke Named Rosie' not expected to sell well East of the Mississippi

Now, swing on over and check out what Basil, moehawk, Dane and The Capitalist have done gone and concocted now!

MoeBetta Headlines 06/17/05

2005-06-17T23:47:00.000-04:00

Mental hospital eyed for children

Wacko Jacko up to his old tricks again

S.C. leads the nation in speed-related deaths

We're #1! We're #1!

Woolly mammoth closer to asian elephants

Rosie O'Donnell and Margaret Cho: More than friends?

McBride has arsenal of weapons

Martina says if the Dixie Witches come near her again she's gonna 'Let Freedom Ring'

Great show...too bad it feels like an afterthought

Tom Cruise apparantly not a 'Top Gun' between the sheets

Dean Condemns 'Anti-Semitic Literature'

Insane Dem declares: "You should hate all Jews, not just the Semitic ones"

Woman Dumped Into Rear of Garbage Truck

Roseanne Barr seething mad after misunderstanding between sanitation worker and boss, and reference to "that big old white Hefty bag over yonder"

Minnesota Mayors to Have Toilet Bowl Race

City officials hope crap doesn't hit a fan

Madonna Continues Tending 'English Roses'

And I always thought her affection was just for pansies

Hollywood risks future by ignoring adults

Michael Jackson learned that the hard way

Jackson Not Out Of The Woods Yet

He always has seemed to prefer wood over a bush

Comics Not Letting Up On Jackson

Hallelujah!

Grrr! The Ball's in Your Court

Michael Jackson's 'pillow talk' disturbing not just to his victims

United by a Sisterly Bond, Friends Explore Teenage Love

Otherwise known as "college"

I know, I did waaaay too many Jackson jokes tonight. I couldn't help it. Every other news story was about that schmuck. But fear not, cause I ain't gonna let Elton John or Michael Moore get off (so to speak) easily this weekend.

Now, mosey on over and visit Basil, moehawk, Dane and The Capitalist for more foreplay for your funny bone!

What Military Aircraft Are You?

2005-06-17T21:54:00.000-04:00

What military aircraft are you?

B-52 Stratofortress

You're a B-52. You are old and wise, and you absolutely love destruction. You believe in the principle of "peace through deterrence" and aren't afraid to throw your weight around.

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you byYouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

I'm not old at all, but I fancy myself a bit wise and a lover of destruction (of people and things that deserve it).

My finest pearls of wisdom are good rules to live by:

Don't sleep in the wet spot
Don't eat the yellow snow
Never pay retail

MoeBetta Headlines 06/16/05

2005-06-16T23:44:00.000-04:00

Workers keep right to flirt

Amoral secularists give new meaning to 'Quickie Mart'

I'm off on vacation for 3-5 years...

Labor unions finally achieve ultimate level of laziness ...European

Author of book on Chicago fire jailed for arson

Talk about bringing a story to life

Sanitation problems plague mountaineers

SarahK still trying to adjust to life in Florida

Rosemary extract could make cooked meat safer

Her baby's still a threat, though

Jackson acquittal seen buying time on catalog sale

Evil freak-of-nature to be found soon, at a 'Baby Gap' near you

Got cows? Philippines needs 12,000

N.O.W. refuses to release their membership roster

Cuban Picasso has tough act to follow

Can't afford near as many drugs or whores as his ancestor

Cheerleaders Disciplined for Feces Pizza

And you guys thought your wives were bad cooks?

Oregon Cat Born With Two Faces

Just what we need; another pussy politician

Boy, 13, Leads Police on 20-Mile Chase

Boy is grateful it was only police chasing him, and not Michael Jackson

Mass. Man With Troubling Tattoo Arrested

I think I saw an episode of 'X-Files' like this

Cops: Boy Steals School Bus, Takes It Home

Boy responds: "This is public property,and my mom's a taxpayer! She also pays your salary, pig!" Later statements from the boy will be available in 3-7 years

Elton John Extends Las Vegas Show

Hopes to be to Siegfried, what the tiger was to Roy

Hope ya like'em! And always remember to swing by and check out Basil, moehawk, Dane and The Capitalist for more headline wholesomeness!

In Support of Faith

2005-06-16T20:07:00.000-04:00

I've recently become aware of a nice new blog called Crosses aCross America. The blog's purpose is to encourage Christians, Jews, and folks of other faiths to display their religious symbols everywhere possible, which is something I strongly support. Their description is self explanatory:

We are a non-demoninational group that is dedicated to promoting faith in God and in our country and the freedom to practice it. Religious beliefs in public places have come under attack. We encourage everyone to place crosses, star of David's, and other religious emblems on their property, in their windows, and on their cars to support this effort.

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past few years, you know that the ACLU (Amoral Coalition of Liberal Ugliness) has been taking every opportunity possible to remove any mention of, and the name of G-d from all places in the country. They claim they only wish to remove it from "public" places, because it "violates" the Constitution and "offends" non-believers and people of other faiths. Personally, I love it when their kind are offended. It tells me that we're doing something right. Even G-d says that the wicked cringe and writhe at the mention of His name. The ACLU and their ghoulish horde of heathens react just as HaShem said they would. But now, the ACLU wants to take things further and tell good and decent folks what they can and can't have on their private property. This must not be allowed to happen.

These latest attacks by the ACLU against religion, and against Christians in particular, reminded me of a letter I read a year or so ago. It was written by Aaron Zelman, who is the Executive Director of Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership. His letter begins by mentioning a case in Florida, where a Menorah was allowed to be displayed in a public park, but a Christian Nativity scene was forbidden. That riled me up and still sticks in my craw. I'm grateful that we are allowed in America, to display our Jewish symbols, but if anyone should be allowed to display their religious symbols, it's the Christians. This is a Christian nation, people. This nation may be comprised of and welcoming of all faiths,but when you look at who founded it, who built the Republic, who has put in the most work and effort to create this glorious nation of devout, moral and hard working people...it's the Christians. This should never be forgotten or ignored.

Now, go and read An Open Letter to My Christian Friends, and pray to G-d that such things never happen here. And if you think it can't happen, then you truly are blind. Remember, Adolph Hitler began as a nobody, preaching his evil in beer halls and rabble on the streets . The ACLU already has far more power and money than he did. Just something to consider.

Also, I'd like to give an extra thanks to the good folks over at Stop The ACLU for staying on the ball and keeping everyone up to date on the latest evil the ACLU is up to. Keep up the good work, guys!

G-d bless you all !

MoeBetta Headlines 06/14/05

2005-06-14T23:53:00.000-04:00

'Titanic' director juggles projects

Will next attempt to juggle a trailer park

Alanis albums pulled in Canada over Starbucks deal

Isn't it ironic?

Missing Woman Was Hiding in Plain Sight

Calista Flockhart was merely standing behind a parking meter

Sign Near Fatal Wreck Pointed Wrong Way

Lame excuse likely not to replace the classic, "A deer ran out in front of me"

Court Denounces Race Bias in Capital Cases

Robert Byrd denies existence of racial bias, stating; "It's a dark day today, when people are accused of discriminating folks and monkeying around. They try and blacken my good name with accusations I ain't heard in a 'coon's age."

D.C. Panda Pregnancy Rumors

Bill Clinton takes an unexpected leave of absense

Army deserter back in U.S. 40 years later

Would have been back sooner, had he bothered to stop and ask for directions

Reputed Klansman set to stand trial in 1964 civil-rights slayings

Hopes to get jury comprised of members from OJ and Jacko trials

Pirates in Malaysian Waters Surrender

William Teach unavailable for comment

Bono Doubles As Lobbyist for World's Poor

Famous singer says; "Put your hungry hand in mine, I'll give you cash and wipe your heathen behind...babe, I got you babe.."...Oops, wrong 'Bono'

Don't forget to check out Basil, moehawk, Dane and The Capitalist for more headlines!

MoeBetta Headlines 06/13/05

2005-06-13T23:50:00.000-04:00

Gaelic Language Gets Official EU Status

A dying language adopted by a dying continent

Marauding Animal Kills 9 in Rural Malawi

Competition in TTLB Ecosystem heating up

Cheney slams Howard Dean as 'over the top'

Sylvester Stallone says " ay yo,Dick, lemme show ya's how it's done"

Paris Hilton Plans to Give Up Public Life

Says she'll just be a dirty, filthy slut in the privacy of her home

James Dean Is In The Building

And Elvis works at the Waffle House

Alicia Silverstone marries in Lake Tahoe

Blond beauty forgot to board the boat

No raised eyebrows

Mr. Spock miffed

Cruise says Holmes 'digs' Scientology

Says she also enjoys digging grave for her career

Mr. Bill Pulls Out of Wetlands Campaign

Title of newest claymation porn film unveiled to less than enthusiastic response

Poll: Six in 10 Want Troops to Leave Iraq

7 of 9 says that's illogical and irrational

The Show-Biz Pharaoh of Egypt's Antiquities

Omar Sharif still going strong

144 Arrested At Huge Cockfight

Queer orgy gets a bit out of hand

NTSB to study what led to Missouri plane crash

Last recorded words by Redneck pilot were, "Hey y'all, watch this!"

Porn Star to Attend President's Dinner

A tipsy Dick Cheney says, "You've seen our Bush, now show us yers!"

Bolton Nomination May Get Senate Vote Soon

Bolton comments; "I wish these lazy good for nothing, bug eyed foreigner loving rats would hurry up! You lousy,worthless, waste-of-space-and-don't-deserve-to-breathe-free-air pantywaist sons of...."

Hope ya like'em! And before ya go wrassle the Sandman, be sure to ease on next door and check out the wholesome headlines at Basil's, moehawk's, Dane's and The Capitalist's!

Happy Belated Birthday To moehawk! (Little "m", Or Else!)

2005-06-12T22:12:00.000-04:00

Me being such a slack piece of crap this past week or so, I didn't learn that one of my favorite blog buddies done gone and got a year older until a short while ago. So to make up for it, I am gonna sing moehawk this little birthday diddy:

Happy Birthday to you,
I thought you was a Jooo,
'Cause yer that dadgummed coo',
Happy birthday to you.

How old are ya now?
Yes, Rosie's still a cow,
She smells like a wet sow,
But ya already knew that, so how old are ya now?

Hey, I ain't never claimed to be no Hank Williams or Ray Charles! My best poetry is on the terlit walls in SC and GA truckstops.

Anyhoo, happy birthday, buddy! G-d bless you and yours and may y'all have many more!

MoeBetta Headlines 06/12/05

2005-06-12T19:42:00.000-04:00

Suspected cookie thief goes to extremes

Cookie Monster uses Oscar the Grouch's can to bomb Sesame Street, declares jihad on Keebler elves

Sex huts: how romantic

Jabba remarks, "Leia in golden bikini, oh ho ho ho ho"

Teenager gives birth at 85 MPH

Feeling the 'need for speed', teen kicks in afterbirthers

Climate changes spur plan for village move

Mother Nature scoffs at Hillary, proves it takes more than a village

C-List stars: the perfect formula for fame

Failure to mention that 'Fame' was full of D-list actors

Miss. Group Enjoys Picnic in Central Park

Native New Yorkers repulsed at first sight of possum patties, coon fritters, beaver squeezin's and sweet iced tea

Student Uses Roadkill to Produce Art

Lunchroom lady calls dibs on project

Vancouver Tries to Clean Up Feces Stench

Haven't yet worked up courage to demand Michael Moore stop making films in Canada

Twisted Sister Helps Out Ailing Sound Man

Rock band re-writes classic song for employee, titled "We're Not Gonna Take it Anymore (You Lazy Goldbricking Bum!)"

Tucker Carlson Starts Anew With MSNBC Show

Dilton Doiley forced to take job as new sidekick to Bill Nye

Britain Celebrates Queen's 79th Birthday

Elton John is 79?!

Nebraska Names Department for Carson

The 'Department of Weird, Wild Stuff' set to open in late Summer

Stretch of Highway Named for B.B. King

Legendary Blues artist honored, says it's a new way of driving

Steven Seagal Sued For Tardiness

Once great actor breaks 18 necks, while proclaiming "I may be getting old, slow, and pudgy, but I ain't no 'tard!"

Culkin Wrist-Slap On Drug Charges

Annoying little twerp escapes a well deserved bitch-slap, this time

Sage Advice in Archaeology: Think Like a Neanderthal

Same advice given to members of the Democratic party

Arlene Soaks Florida, Eyes Gulf

Doesn't sound as intriguing as 'Debbie Does Dallas'

Enjoy! And swing by and visit Basil, moehawk, Dane Bramage and Laffin at the Left for more wholesome headlines to satisfy your hunger for humor!

Update: I linked to an older Laffin Points Memo. It's hilarious and will give ya a nice belly laugh, but the latest edition can be found here. Sorry 'bout that, TC!

Moe Money Moe Money!

2005-06-10T20:35:00.000-04:00

I was poking around over at The Pulpit Pounder this afternoon, and found this cool site.

It's set up on the same lines as the stock market, but with blogs being the commodity. I'm still trying to get the full hang of it, but it's not a hard thing. Why, I even bought 139 shares of Laffin At The Left. The other blogs I frequent, like Dane Bramage, moehawk, Basil, Appalachian Gun Trash, and The Pirate's Cove, were frankly too dadgummed expensive.

But I will be keeping an eye on them, nonetheless, for when the day comes I can actually increase my finances above the 29 cents I have now. Heh

MoeBetta Headlines 06/07/05

2005-06-07T22:39:00.000-04:00

Beached whales head back out to sea

Michael Moore, Rosie O'Donnell, Elton John embark on annual Summer cruise

Now, that's what I call a pay toilet!

Tom Sizemore recounts his love affair with Heidi Fleiss

Court says gay man can drive

The final obstacle keeping him from being a real woman

Parents fined for urinating baby

And you thought passing a stone was rough?

Woman Charged With Smuggling Fish in Skirt

Newest slang to replace "on the rag"

Polo Model Escapes Flaming Truck

Garden gnomes, pink flamingos not so fortunate

Lindsay Lohan: I'm 'Easy Target'

Confidence of 170 million American and British males skyrockets

Ronald McDonald made over as fitness guru for tots

Now resembles an even weirder Richard Simmons

Ex U.S. prostitute and porn star shares secrets

Of what few there are left

Police hope madam, 80, can stay out of trouble

Helen Thomas given final chance to cease being a media whore

Body parts fall from plane approaching JFK

'Blue ice' now the least of your concerns

Enjoy, and be sure to swing by and see Basil, moehawk and Dane for more headlines!

I Is Stoopid

2005-06-07T16:41:00.000-04:00

Via Basil:

Your IQ Is 105

Your Logical Intelligence is Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Above Average
Your General Knowledge is Above Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Average logic? Ah well, I reckon that means I ain't a Vulcan, and can appreciate the fine science of keg parties and fart jokes.

I think I've been robbed and swindled and bamboozled. (And maybe even hoodwinked)

Which Pulp Fiction Character Are You?

2005-06-07T13:37:00.000-04:00

Via Phin:

You don't tolerate shit. The .45 you carry in you pocket is scary, but your words are the real threat, especially when you decide to get Biblical. Try to take it easy, but maintain that edge of yours, which tends to keep people wary in your presence.

Take the What Pulp Fiction Character Are You? quiz.

'Tis true, I confess. Jules is the coolest cat in the whole flick. Who'd you expect me to be? The gimp? Heh

What Is Your Battle Cry?

2005-06-06T23:25:00.000-04:00

Via Dane,
The Pulpit Pounder and The Capitalist, I happened upon this cool little doodad.

I have a pretty dadgummed long name, but just trying one of them (long and short version) produced some amusing results:

"Brace yourself, oh human speck of dust! I shall fill the world with the stench of death!!"

What's funny is, I took this one Saturday night, about five minutes after I got home and took my boots off.

"I'm going to spank you into your own personal hell!!!"

"I'm going to hump you so painfully, you will polymorph into a popsicle!!"

"I'm going to fuck you until you bleed puke!!"

What's up with this thing? It makes a nasty crack about my foot odor, then makes me out to be a porn heathen. Tsk tsk tsk

Saturday

2005-06-06T21:34:00.000-04:00

Friday afternoon I agreed to help El Bastardo do some little repairs and fixer upper stuff on Saturday to a new trailer he recently acquired. No big fuss. I was feeling pretty good last week and rather looked forward to some fun labor the coming weekend. So, I woke up about 08:30 the following morning, feeling mighty good and with a hankering for red meat. So even before I got out of bed, I decided I was gonna fix me a big ol' roast beef sammich for breakfast. I know beef for breakfast sounds wrong, but I keep my diet balanced finely between meat, potatoes, and veggies.

Well, I crawl out of the rack, head to the head, wash my face and brush my teeth,and mosey on in the kitchen. But what do I find when I open the fridge door? Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. The entire fridge is completely empty, and my 1 1/5 pound of fresh roast beef is gone too, as is my pastrami, steak fritters, and deli meats. Turns out, my intrusive fat aunt's evil (and incredibly stupid) daughter, decided that everything in my fridge was "garbage", so she threw out about $30 of freshly bought groceries. So, after I smash up some furniture to vent my anger, and call Fatty McAss to tell her what bitches I think she and her bug-eyed daughter are, I took a shower to calm down and pray for their deaths.

The only grub I had left in the house, was frozen veggie lasagna and frozen cheese pizzas. (The harlot had even thrown out my half gallon of milk, so cereal was out of the question) So, I angrily and grudgingly shoved a little cheese pizza in the oven and hopped online to get the schedule with El Bastardo sorted out. It took a couple hours to get in touch with him, but finally did. We got everything sorted out, and I had to borrow my grandpa's truck to haul some materials we needed down to El Bastardo's house. So, I go to get the truck, but it can't be that simple, can it? Of course not! There always has to be a catch with these bastards.

The truck is full of stuff. Some junk, some not, which Lardo de Massiveass felt she had the right to come in this house and dispose of. But me, being the nice (and often,too damned nice) sumbitch that I am, I decide to drop the stuff off at the local dump on my way to El Bastardos. I get to the dump, and even more fun begins to ensue. They have rules. Rules in a trash dump, you heard me right. No clothes, no foodstuff, no this and that, and all cardboard has to be seperated,etc. Holy crap.

So, I walk in the little trailer shack to get the specifics, and I find two bulldykes in there, foaming at the mouth and looking at me like I just pissed on Rosie O'Donnell and dented their Harley's. Both of them looked like Larry The Cable Guy, but one had a mullet and the other a flat top. This afternoon ain't getting off to a good start.

After a few moments of manly grunts and snorts between us, I finally had the general idea of where and how to dispose of which and what I was seeking to dump off. As I go through the stuff, to seperate the electronic doodads from the ceramic and plastic,etc..I find some familiar stuff. My Tulsa Brewing Company glass from my college days in Tulsa in 1997, and my Smurf collector glasses and a little sipping cup,from even before I was able to walk. These things, Fatty McAss saw as "garbage to be disposed of". Well, after finding these fond memories of my childhood so casually discarded by that fat, evil, heartless, selfish cultist heathen, I began being more thorough before throwing stuff out,but did it much faster and angrier. I really hate her. So, my day is far from improving.

Finally, after a half hour of cautious discarding and sweating like a Shanghai whore when the fleet's in, I was finished. But, I still had a bunch of crap left that I couldn't dispose of at the dump, so I opted to return to the house and drop it in the dumpster. I got back here, and began tossing the other stuff in the bin, then bags started busting. Great. Now I smell like a fine blend of sweat, coffee grounds, and diaper shit. How wonderful. All this unnecessary nonsense, because a fat devil worshipper is too lazy to dump her own garbage. Evil demon woman. (I should note, that as I was dumping stuff, I found many bags and boxes of her household garbage. She just stops by the house,dumps her trash in my grandfather's truck,and expects others to dispose of it for her. She's a bitch. It's not just a name, it's her lifestyle)

When I'm done with that crap, I drive up to the house, wash my hands and arms off with the hose, then finally begin heading to El Bastardos'. I'm running 75 minutes later than the time I told him I'd initially be there. Thanks again, to the devil worshipper, for ruining my perfect record of punctuality.

I wheel up in his driveway around 15:30, and we immediately get to work trying to chop down and dispose of a tree that is in the way of where we gotta stick his newly ~~swindled~~ acquired single wide. He'd already sawed through most of it before I arrived, but his chainsaw conked out on him. We took turns fighting the unruly little beast, and finally got it to fire one more time, and finished sawing the tree at proper angles to get it to fall where it needed to. After that's done, I go up and grab the tree to drop it, and as it begins to fall, El Bastardo (chainsaw still running) freaks out, grabs my shoulder, and damn near gets me crushed by the tree,and mutilated by the chainsaw. I'm trying to dodge a falling tree in front of me, and a running chainsaw being run up behind me. Not good.

Anyhoo, after that little fiasco, we set to trying to trim the limbs off so we can chop up the trunk and move it aside. Sadly, the chainsaw wouldn't start again. Finally, he got the extension cord, electric saw, and his new Craftsman double toothed hacksaw. I was not amused or hopeful, but while he was hooking up the saw, I grabbed the hacksaw, and decided to trim off the branches. Wow! This was an amazing tool! This little saw, sliced through every limb like it was nothing. I'd never before used a double toothed saw, only single,fine toothed blades. This was such a treat!

I started having tons of fun with this little sumbitch! I was slicing through that tree faster than a UN "peacekeeper" in an African village:

When we finished chopping the tree and moving it aside, he needed to run to Sumter for some stuff, and offered to buy me supper. Well hell, a free supper I ain't never passed up, and ain't about to start now. So off we go to the sister city. We went straight to Huddle House (Yeah, I'm a Waffle House guy, but Huddle House is a pretty decent substitute) and mosied on inside.

We grabbed our "regular" booth, fired up some Pall Mall's, sipped our tea, ogled the cute waitresses and discussed everything from the mysteries of G-d, to foreign affairs, to why Ben Affleck is considered a star.

Fast forward an hour, and we're finished with our supper. (I had the grilled chicken sammich dinner, with hashbrowns, and a nice ranch dressing salad..and yes moehawk, I salted the hell out of'em!) So, El Bastardo says he needs to run over to the Dollar General across the street, and so we do. As we're walking in, this big ol' fella is standing outside hawking bootleg videos of 'Star Wars 3: Revenge of the Sith'. Six bucks each. Not a bad price, but I am usually wary of street vendors and bootleggers. El Bastardo was interested, and told the fella to hang on til we ran in the Dollar Store and he could get change. Okey doke.

We wander on inside, and I just follow him around, 'cause I ain't got nothing I need to buy. He finally gets all he needs, and as we're on our way to the register, he looks at some toys, wondering if they have something he could buy his cute little niece. Well, as we're standing there looking at the kids toys, this little old lady with her grandchild says (quite loudly) "No sugar, we can't buy you a kike today"

El Bastardo and I look at each other, with the "did we just hear what we thought we heard?" look. Then we hear again: "There's not enough wind today to fly a kike, baby. We'll come back in a few days and buy you a kike". Well, boy howdy! Ain't this an oddity?

He starts snickering at me, as I check to see if I wore my necklace, or had something "Jew-ey" on my person. I usually dress pretty secular aside from holidays and the occasional "lookin' for trouble" moods I get in.

We quickly understood she meant nothing by it, it was simply her way of speaking. 'Walkin' down the skreet, eatin some skrimp, and flyin' a kike'. But nonetheless, El Bastardo was loving it. He began to tease me incessantly. I made a remark to him regarding overcooked beans and the moisture on his back, and we proceeded to the checkout counter. It was there, his bootleg buddy came strutting inside. I wandered on outside to fire up another smoke, and waited on him. He finally comes out, hands me a bootleg copy of 'Episode 3', and we proceed to the car. I then notice a sheriffs deputy sitting out in the parking lot, giving me the hairy eyeball. I think El Bastardo sold me up the river, or down the creek. Either way, I ain't had no paddles. But, all the cop did was look, so I was good to go.

After a brief run into Advance Auto Parts (or maybe it was Autozone), we finally head on home. We load some extra stuff in the trailer, bug bomb it, and fix my tail light, then off I head for home. And that was pretty much my Saturday. Boring, but interesting. Angering, but amusing. But now, y'all know why I've been so light on posting this weekend.

As an aside: The video turned out pretty danged good. I'm still gonna catch it while it's in theatres, but this copy is a fine tide-ya-over.

Which Revenge of the Sith Character Are Ya?

2005-06-05T13:38:00.000-04:00

Via Basil, I came across this quiz. Having just seen the movie for the first time last night, I felt the urge to try this out. How'd I score? Nothing that surprises me:

Darth Vader 86%

General Grievous 78%

Yoda 72%

Clone Trooper 72%

Obi Wan Kenobi 58%

Mace Windu 58%

Emperor Palpatine 53%

R2-D2 53%

Chewbacca 50%

Anakin Skywalker 47%

C-3PO 33%

Padme Amidala 31%

Basil scored as Yoda, which means he could use his magic Force powers to lift my ~~El Camino~~ X-Wing Fighter out of the Congaree River.

Now, y'all go take the quiz and lemme know how ya scored!

Which Revenge of the Sith Character Are You?

created with
quizfarm.com

What Is Your World View?

2005-06-04T00:30:00.000-04:00

That's right. It's time for more quiz fun! I came across this quiz last week or so, but forgot about it. But thanks to The Capitalist, I now have the chance to take it and share it with you. You'll take it,and you'll like it!

You scored as Romanticist.

Romanticism encourages society to look backwards to find our solutions. Your rationale is that things were much better a few hundred years ago so we should thus look back to those times and replace them in our modern society. You believe in a simple life and that the complexities of the modern world have turned it upside down.

Romanticist 94%

Idealist 69%

Cultural Creative 50%

Fundamentalist 44%

Postmodernist 44%

Existentialist 25%

Modernist 19%

Materialist 0%

This sounds fairly accurate, though I have no clue what a 'Cultural Creative' or a 'Postmodernist' is. Sounds like some beatnik lingo, and I wish Joe McCarthy were here to explain it to me.

MoeBetta Headlines 06/02/05

2005-06-02T22:46:00.000-04:00

After 'Deep Throat,' what mysteries remain?

Neither Clinton nor Lewinsky remember where the imfamous cigar disappeared to

Cops use cameras to catch pirated DVD sellers

Latest police sting puts crimp in sales of Cap'n Teach's newest video; 'Wenches Gone Wild: Groggy Style'

Warrant Out For Bobby Brown

Band says they are gonna lay him down on a bed of roses for stealing a cherry pie from Uncle Tom's cabin; Brown says that's their prerogative

Miss Canada Is Miss Universe

Miss Anthropy says it was a Miss Guided Miss Take

Roll the Fairy Tale, Fade to the Fists

What'll happen if I ever meet Elton John in a dark alley

Struggling With Nature and One Another

A heartwarming documentary about Rosie O'Donnell and liposuction

A Visit With the Creatures of the Sea

Jessica Simpson asks, "are they creatures or are they fish?"

Experts Are Listening to Grand Canyon

Grand Canyon says it's like talking to a wall

Patterns: Why the Sleepless Nights?

The book moehawk shoulda bought while at the grocery store for 2 hours

High Cholesterol? With Children, It May Not Matter

Try telling that to Corey Haim

Declaring With Clarity, When Gender Is Ambiguous

Nude photos of pop star confuses Michael Jackson jury

Roll Over Beethoven

Liberace's afterlife pickup line still not popular

Study probes why brain-wasting diseases kill

Visit the democratic underground and daily kos to fully understand

Short-necked dinosaur surprises scientists

Robert Byrd refuses to evolve

Hope ya enjoy! And don't sign off before ya swing by and visit Basil, moehawk and Dane for more headline wholesomeness!

While you're at it, pop over and see The Capitalist at Laffin at the Left. He has some dadgummed good insights on current events, and a helluva good sense of humor!